𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝑳𝒊𝒇𝒆

unforgettable memories

tw: look at description

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the cold bathroom gave me chills as it was nearing winter. the night made the room look blue as the moonlight reflected off the tiles. blood soaked my hands and was dripping onto the floor.

I shiver as the tank stop hugging my body and sweatpants failed to keep my body warmth in one place. my whole body ached as it was covered in bruises and cuts. cuts that were made from myself and from..from.. where did they come from?

the lights were dull yet my reflection was still visible, it was strange.

'what year is it? I still look young. what happened, why is there blood on me? where did all these wounds come from? what happened to me. did I do that? who am I? why do I feel like, they are far away. gone.'

my memories were all blurred. it all happened so fast, my brain couldn't comprehend it. all I remember was the confusion. the fear. the betrayal. shock. it was all written on their faces, mine included. who were they?

my hands were not longer sharp, there was no dark tips.

'dark sharp tips? claws..CLAWS! I had claws...what happened. blood. the screams, those familiar screams. where are my friends, my family. why can't I remember. why can't I remember.why can't I remember.why can't I remember.why can't I remember.why can't I remember.why can't I remember.why can't I remember.'

tears, welled and pooled into my eyes and over overflowed. it felt as if my tears burning my eyes, it blurred and made my vision harder to see. the never ending tears drip into the blood and black ink splattered sink. my eyes widen as I notice the sink.

blood was splattered and so was this black substance that look like ink. it looked as if someone tried to desperately wash it away. there was also tylenol and advil pills mixed in with the goop. the bottles sat next to the sink faucet. I look back up to the mirror to look at my face.

'is that me? is that blood..and the black ink? did I puke, I would have remembered that wouldn't I? who am I. is this even me? my teeth, they are so sharp...?'

I run a finger against my teeth as it grazed my skin, leaving a small cut. I looked pale, and looked as if they were going to faint.

'they look sick. I wonder if their okay. why are they copying me. wait no I am me. the reflection is me..no it's not. yes, I killed them.'

"wait, what." I finally spoke.

my eyes widen in shock. as it starts to rush in, everything started to overwhelm me. my legs started to buckle as I tried to stay standing, I fail miserably. I bring a hand to my mouth as I accidentally smear blood into my face.

as I finally land onto the ground, I don't feel the cold tiles that I was expecting. I feel sticks and rocks poking my legs. I blink and around me was different. I was in some sort of forest. when did I get here?

it was oddly familiar but I didn't want to here. something happened here, I don't want to remember it. I stand back up and walk around aimlessly. as I drag my feet across the ground, emotions rush throughout my whole head.

lost, confusion, fear, uneasiness, anger.

'anger? why am I angry? why did I do that?! what happened to me?! that wasn't me..THAT WASN'T ME...that was someone else. no. that was something else. I didn't meant to do it, I swear! it wasn't me!'

as more memories start to rush back, my knees finally hit the ground as I bring my hands up to my ears.

"I didn't mean to, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I never told anyone. I'm sorry I lost control. I'm sorry to whoever else I hurt." I continue to mumble to myself as my hands begin to ball up into fist, grabbing hair in the process. who am I apologizing to?

images of my family and friends flash in my head, my tears start rushing down my already tear stained face. I don't want to see their faces, not now.

"Jaime...Sarah...Mom...Dad..don't leave, that wasn't me." I cried to myself.

as millions other thoughts rush through my head, something wells up into my chest. it burns my throat, my head starts pounding, my stomach aches. I suddenly start coughing uncontrollably.

I cover my mouth and pull away my hand to see, blood and the ink. I look down to see a puddle of black ink front of me.

'I don't remember puking. why can't I remember. WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER'

as my thoughts start to yell at me, they seem to get louder. the noise slowly crescendos until I can't even hear my own thoughts. those aren't my thoughts, it was static. all I see is black and white.

I squeeze my eyes shut as everything seemed to become deafening. the trees, the wind, the static, the thoughts, the memories, the screams, the images, it was all so loud. I want them to GO AWAY.
- - - - - -

my eyes shoot open as I look around my apartment. everything was the same except i was laying in the middle of the floor. something pokes my arm, I lift it up to see the familiar black cat with heterochromia eyes.

they begin to rub their head against my arm as if it was trying to get my attention.

I felt my eyes relax and my body the same. I sit up and hold my head as it was nauseating to move. whenever I was killed, it was rare to have those..memories.

i rub my head and drop my hand back down into my lap. I look at my had to see blood. my eyebrows scrunch in confusion and I stand up and walked towards the bathroom.

the mirror was me in my clothes when I went to game stop, except I had dried blood all over me and a small scar on my forehead.

I sigh and begin to grab things to shower off the dried blood. I begin to notice the cat trailing behind me as I grabbed items. I look down as it looks up at me.

'i'll just pretend that nightmare I had didn't happen'