ˢᵉˡᶜᵒᵘᵗʰ · ᵒʳⁱᵍⁱⁿᵃˡ ˢᵗᵒʳʸ

iv [s]

within the weeks that followed my first appointment with the shrink, i'd taken her advice and added even more studio hours to my schedule. now i had classes with madam dewitt and vee every other day, private lessons on tuesday and thursday nights, and various other focused classes i tried to sign myself up for whenever i had the chance. with the additional two hours of studio rental each wednesday, it seemed like i spent more time in my pointe shoes than anything else. when madam dewitt asked to see me a mere hour before my rental period, i hadn't even bat an eye as i made my way to the studio. what did get a reaction from me though was seeing vee.

not just seeing her, of course. by now she'd become a fixture in my weekly routine. i'd go to madam dewitt's on monday and see her talking to some of the other girls in the class, specifically the few that seemed to fall right below me on the unspoken ranking scale. she would catch my eye against my will simply because she refused to conform to the studio and it's culture. everyone else in class wore black leotards, mostly spaghetti strap but always paired with pink tights. vee wore her tights just fine but paired them with leotards in every color under the sun. she got away with her navy blues, crimsons, and powder violets simply because all of the leotards were one of the appropriate silhouettes and always solid colored. she also was able to get away with her hair being down or pinned back every class. it was so short that madam dewitt made faces the first and last time she saw vee with an attempt as a ponytail or bun. as long as it was pinned or braided out of her face, no one said a word. though she was following the school rules her appearance still seemed to upset me everytime. it's like she spoke the language of ballet and knew how to act in such a space as walker, but chose not to conform for absolutely no apparent reason. her loopholes were legal yet incredibly disrespectful and i hated how ignorant she came off. no way was i going to spend an entire hour with her before my studio time and let her disobedience poison another session.

i knew madam dewitt saw the distaste on my face but she must not have cared. or she did, she just didn't care enough to do anything about it. instead she offered me a smug smile and the place where she had been standing directly across from vee. "miss carmichael! so glad you could join me, join us."

upon stepping into my place in front of vee i averted my eyes from her and at madam dewitt, my posture straightening like it always did whenever she spoke to me. "about that," i mumbled, "why is she here? i thought you wanted to meet me, you said there was something important you wanted to discuss? i'd imagine it was private." madam dewitt wasn't stupid. obviously vee was here for a reason, i just didn't know what it was. maybe she was confused and had planned to meet with vee at this same time on another day. there was no reason the universe had to keep pushing this blonde girl onto me.

"it is private! just you two and i. i don't see the rest of the girls from class, do you? vee?"

vee shook her head at madam dewitt's question. out of the corner of my eye i could see her staring at my cheek like she was trying to will me to look at her. i thought i'd told her to stop doing that. my attempt at getting madam dewitt to dismiss vee proved futile so i finally chose to look straight ahead and match her gaze with my own. while her big, brown eyes seemed to be wide and almost pleading, my green ones were narrowed and pointed at her like knives. just looking at her made my jaw clench and chin raise like a dare. she wouldn't listen to me when i told her to do things so this is what she got. a second, nonverbal, yet more aggressive command. stop.

though i had turned from madam dewitt she was not done with me. she looked between vee and i and shook her head with a soft sigh, seemingly tired of us after only a few minutes. "well then, sasha, there is the answer to your question. now, if you two would stick a pin in your little staring contest, i would love to get on with what i have to say," she finally spoke. and she did wait for us to offer her our attention, even if we both turned and did it with cheeks rosy from the embarrassment of being called out by her. pleased with herself, she continued. "the lawrence love dance exposition is coming to portland in about three months. i am sure that you have heard next to nothing about it, because the exposition only began touring about four or five years ago. but, it is just as exclusive and respectable as all the other expositions you know and very well dream about. it is an invitational on a performance basis and a very slight competition. they give out awards and grants and things."