You Never Said Goodbye.

5: I Never Said It,

He was wrong. Sometimes being the strong one isn't what everybody needs. Steve had been so sure it was the version of him everybody needed.

He was so so wrong.

"You never talk about it." Dustin had spat at him, on one particularly nice day. The sun was out, there were almost no clouds, the breeze was mild and both only needed one or two layers to stay warm.

"About what?"

"Eddie." They had been taking a walk and ended up near skull rock. They weren't quite there, but they could see it. Steve had sat down and Dustin had as well, sitting beside Steve.

"You get sad when he comes up in conversation, I wouldn't do it. I don't like seeing you cry, Henderson." Steve admitted, looking towards Dustin, expecting eyes that held sadness and loss, not the furious gaze that met Steve's hazel eyes.

Dustin exhaled sharply, "You don't seem like it even affected you." Dustin stood up, looking down upon Steve, "Like Eddie died and all you can do about it is tell me it'll be okay? Do you not have any emotions? He saved your goddamn life, you piece of shit!" He wasn't just talking, Dustin was upset. He was angry . Steve didn't know how to respond.

Steve kept himself sitting, "I do have emotions, and it is seriously so upsetting you think I don't care about him dying, god, of course, I fucking cared!" Steve responded, not yelling as loud as Dustin, but his voice was louder than it had been. The volume growing steadily.

"You cared? Then why don't you do anything but sit there and tell us it's okay?" Dustin wildly gestured with his arms like the "us" he was referring to was there.

"Because I had to keep myself together! For you!" Steve put his head in his hands and then took a deep breath, "I didn't want you and Robin and Nancy to think I was weak or something." He admitted, trying his hardest to keep himself together.

Dustin inhaled deeply and shapely exhaled. "You don't have to keep yourself together! At least not like that, Steve I thought you were honest to god and didn't give a god damn shit about Eddie! You didn't even cry, for god's sake!" Dustin yelled back, his arms crossed and he had stepped back from Steve.

Steve stood up, "I do care, Dustin, I care a lot. I cared so much I haven't slept in what felt like weeks! Fucking weeks, Henderson!" Steve took a deep breath and shakily exhaled, "All I can think about is how I could have fucking prevented it, I could have gone with you, or we could have come up with another plan, or you could have radioed us and told me something!" Steve sat back down and put his head back in his hands and Dustin stared in slight shock.

Dustin's mouth was slightly agape. "So you care, 'a lot' apparently, so how come you didn't show it? You didn't seem to even talk to him a lot!" Dustin had tears brimming in his eyes, and though he couldn't see his face, Steve knew but the tremor in Dustin's voice.

He took a deep breath and let Dustin yell for another minute or so before he stood up and shouted back, "I loved him! Okay? I fucking loved Eddie 'The Freak' Munson. Head over fucking heels, alright?"