You Never Said Goodbye.

7: Those 5 Fucking Words,

Steve went home and didn't cry, he sat on his porch steps and leaned his head back on the door, staring at the small cover over him, the sun slipping behind clouds that weren't there before. The previously bright blue turned to a dark gray as a couple of drops landed on his nose.

He didn't move. He sat and closed his eyes as the water soaked through his sweatshirt, his tee shirt, and his jeans.

Shivering he took shaky breaths and let himself decompose. He let himself cry, almost silently, if weren't for the harsh breathing escaping his lips.

He hadn't told anybody that. Not even out loud to himself. He hadn't told Eddie, he hadn't told Robin, he hadn't told Nancy. He hadn't told anyone. And he had just screamed it in the middle of the forest to Dustin.

Dustin, who had thought Steve didn't care that Eddie had even died. Dustin probably wasn't the only one who thought Steve didn't care. Dustin, who had probably asked everyone if he had cried. Dustin, who had probably thought Steve was going back to his old ways.

Steve wasn't, well, he hoped he wasn't. Desperately Hoped. He hadn't cried to anyone but Robin, but Robin wouldn't tell anyone, and he had made it seem as if he was just excessively overwhelmed with the events of the night that had unfolded and the mistakes he had made, the way he had matching healing bruises with Nancy and Robin from those stupid vines.

They had all been wearing an insane amount of sweatshirts and turtle necks to hide their bruised and scarred bodies. Steve wasn't sure he'd be able to wear a tank top or tee shirt again, his body was trashed. He had chunks of skin missing, he could feel all of his scars every time he changed. He winced whenever he had to bend or someone hugged him too tightly. He was broken. Inside and out. Literally. He was sure he had a broken rib or two.

He took shaky breaths as he cried, a breeze reminding him that he was sitting on his porch in the pouring rain. He didn't move but lifted his head to look straight ahead. His porch light was off and it had gotten extremely dark, he assumed Henderson had gotten home alright and wasn't in the same position as Steve. Soaking wet sitting outside in the pouring rain.

There was a crack of lightning and thunder and Steve sighed. He corrected himself, it was a thunderstorm not just pouring rain.

He didn't want to move. He sat there until the storm let up. He didn't move even when the rain had begun to stop and the clouds gave way to a starry sky, the moon staring back at him. He blinked at it, but the moment his eyes were closed his eye filled with tears, and one slid down his cheek, accompanying the rain's damp leftovers across his body. He had stopped crying several minutes before and let himself fall back into the tears, dropping his head to his knees.

✰ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ✰

When Dustin arrived home, he had immediately called Robin, he had been planning on calling Lucas, but Lucas spent most of his time in the hospital with Max, and he didn't need to hear about Dustin's issues right now, so he had called Robin.

Robin picked up the phone after 2 rings and answered with a perked-up voice, "Buckley household! This is Robin?"

"Hey, Robin, it's Dustin." He began, taking a deep breath, "Can we meet somewhere? It's about Steve. I don't know who else to talk to about it." He asked his heart a sharp inhale through the line.

"Your house?"

"Sure."

And within 20 minutes, there was a knock on his door, Dustin opened it to see Robin in a dark turquoise raincoat, dripping wet. She hung the jacket on a hook by the door and removed her shoes, she ran a hand through her hair and couldn't even wait till they sat down or walked past the entryway.

"What happened with him?"

Dustin looked over to her face and saw a terrified look in her eyes like she knew something already but only had half the story.

He walked to the couch and sat down, pulling his knees to his chest, "I asked him about why he seemed like he didn't care about Eddie," He mumbled, catching Robin's sharp inhale and her eyes caught him and she looked terrified. "And he told me something and I'm going to tell you in complete confidentiality and you can't tell anyone I told you this. At all. Nobody."

She nodded and held up her pinky. "I won't tell a soul, I swear it on my life." She swore, and Dustin took her pinky and held it.

"Good." When he withdrew his pinky he leaned his head back on the couch. "We were talking about Eddie and I asked why he seemed like he didn't care and he got really really upset and said he loved him."

"Steve loved Eddie?" Robin asked for confirmation, and Dustin nodded.

"A lot, apparently. He was bottling it for us. He thought we needed someone to hold it together to help us." He mumbled. His legs dropped to the floor and he looked at Robin, watching her reaction intently.

She didn't look as scared anymore, her eyes were trained on the wall as if in realization.

"Took me a minute, too. I didn't think Steve could be gay."

She shook her head, "Oh no, it isn't that." She turned and looked back to Dustin, her gaze scared like she thought he assumed she was being homophobic, "I have nothing against gay people and I had my suspicions, I didn't really think Steve liked Eddie that much." She let her head hang forward, her hair falling from behind her ears and covering her face.

"Okay, good." He sat up and leaned back on the couch, staring across the room. "I didn't want you to get upset and start yelling slurs or something."

Robin shook her head, "Oh no, no, no. I would never insult one of my own." She let it slip on purpose, hoping Dustin would catch it, and he did. His head shot over and then pulled away. Thinking and nodding. Silent acceptance. "Did he walk you home?"

Dustin shook his head. "He left. I think he went home but I'm not super sure he just left."

"I'm going to go check. You stay here until I call you, I don't want you to go out with me and get a cold from this rain." Robin grabbed her jacket and started towards the door, slipping her feet into her shoes as she did so, opening the door she glanced at the sky, it had literally just been pouring. She ended up leaving her jacket on the hook inside, grimacing as it dripped on the floor.