Dark Angel (A 001 prequel story)

14 - Avoid

On the next morning Rose woke up more tired than when she went to sleep.
She had some nightmare, although at first it seemed an exciting dream.
Peter had been in her bed, until he turned demanding and trapped her under his body, ignoring her pleas to stop.
Rose brushed her hands over her face, trying to wash away that nightmare.
She trusted him. Peter wouldn't force her.
No medicine or device in that lab would make him forced himself on her, wouldn't it?

"Your stress level seems quite high. Is something wrong?" Emily asked after examinating her vitals.
"No... I don't know" Rose said numbly. She had skipped breakfast, avoided to bump into Peter as she followed her duties with the children. Now she used the lunch break for a medical control.
Peter walked past the infirmary and she quickly looked away, focusing on the monitor as the device measuring her blood pressure beeped.
"If working with the children is becoming too tiring, you can ask to Brenner to move you somewhere you could enjoy better. In the control room or here. You could become my assistant".
Rose chuckled. She wondered if Peter was hiding behind the door to eavesdrop. Would he freak out if she gave up being an orderly like him?
But he wasn't to be punished. She reminded herself. He wasn't the assaulter of her nightmares.
"No. I'm fine with the children. I'm growing fond of them. And surely you wouldn't want something clumsy like me as you assistant".
Emily pouted "I would enjoy chatting with you. But you're smart. Your job would be mostly cleaning up this mess of a place and sterilising items. Staying in the children's sector is less humiliating. But I think I can guess what's the problem. You needed some vacation".
Rose looked out of the window. She missed the world outside. Even just a walk in the open air.

"I'll talk with Brenner about it" Rose suggested. Maybe it was time to test how much of a prisoner she was.
"And you need to eat more. You're losing weight since Eight's attack".
"Someone mentioned eating?" a face appeared by the door.
Rose smiled waving back at Jason.
"I've been said that you didn't show up at the canteen nor at the cafeteria today" the security guard said peering at her.
"Maybe I just need someone to bring me some food here. It's the right place where to faint".
Jason looked at Emily, who shrugged and said "Alright, you can eat here. So if you need to tell me something more about what's going on, I'm here. I doubt you want to pass out in front of me when you don't like medicines".
Rose grinned and Jason left to fetch some food for her.
"I feel bad that he looks happy to be like a servant. He could just enjoy his lunch, without worrying about me".
Emily shot her a sideways glance "That's what men are meant to be. Our servants. I wish I have someone here who brings me food, flowers and everything that would please me. It's nice to be courted, isn't it?".
Rose choked in her breath "I'm not so selfish. People should just let me starve".
The nurse pressed her palm of her forehead "Dear Lord, what's wrong with you to speak like that? Do you feel depressed? Your vitals give weird signs, different values each time I measure them. If you feel bad, you can just talk about it".
Rose laid back on the bed "I don't know how I feel. I feel hungry but at the same time I have no appetite. Does it make sense?".
The nurse shot her a blank look "Nothing about you makes sense".

Jason arrived with a tray of delicacies, then had to hurry back to his station.
She swallowed the food, trying to ignore how it seemed to swallow sand.
Then she had to run as well to arrive at the test room in time to see Brenner joining the children, who worked on manipulating electricity.
Rose assisted another doctor in noting all the details of every performance.
Her instinct was somehow synchronised with the tests. She felt the electricity buzzing around her, she felt the invisible threads, but she couldn't pull at them.
She missed practicing.
Maybe it wasn't just the nightmare that haunted her. Her body was growing demanding. She wanted Peter, but their latest discussion and her nightmare cooled that lust. She wanted to use her powers, but she couldn't reveal them to the doctors.
"Hey, girl, are you alright?" the doctor woke her from her dizzy thoughts.
She realized that she was making a mess with the papers and the folders.
"Sure. Sorry" she bowed her head to hide her face, red with embarrassment.
"You were about to faint. Take a seat" the doctor stood up and waved at her to take his chair.
She wished to decline the offer, but she needed to sit or the world around her would keep spinning and being blurred.
The doctor mumbled something about women and their periods and she welcomed the suggestion. Always blame it on period if she acted weird.
Hours passed and Rose just wanted to lock herself into her own room and let her tired mind rest.
She needed to stop being paranoid and brooding over things until exhaustion.
After accompanying the children to their bedrooms, she checked around and didn't see Peter. Grateful that he already left, she rushed to reach her own room, when suddenly around a corner some arms wrapped around her and deviated her to an empty room.

Rose barely had the time to catch her breath when she realized that her kidnapper was the one she didn't want to face.
Peter wore just a reflection of her own fury.
"What the hell?" she exclaimed as he closed carefully the door, trapping her with him in that room.
"You're avoiding me" he accused her straightforward.
She crossed her arms on her chest "Now I'm here talking to you, am I not?".
He rolled his eyes "Yeah, because I dragged you here. Are you still upset because of our last discussion? You should know that I only meant to warn you".
She looked down at the floor mumbling "I'm fine".
"Yet, you wouldn't look at me. I guess you don't even want to kiss me anymore. Rose, I'm not the monster here".
No, the one in her nightmare was a monster. Not him.
She swallowed hard. No way she was going to tell him how scared she was in that dream. Scared of the man she trusted the most.
"Yeah, but you're telling me that everyone else is" she complained fighting back her tears "I agree that how the children are treated is almost inhuman. But they can't force me to have sex with you just to hand them another child for their experiments".
She shut her mouth as her words sounded so embarassing and disturbing that she wanted to melt under the floor.
His fingers under her chin made her flinch.
She didn't fight when he pulled her head up so she had to cross his intense gaze.
"And how would you prevent that?" he said softly, but woke her worst fears.
Being helpless, being unable to defend herself from a terrible destiny.
There had to be a solution. Something she could do to protect herself. Someone who could protect her. But the world believed that she was dead.
Nobody was coming to rescue her.
"Are you suggesting that we should run away?" she murmured, taking his hand away from her face, but her fingers lingered on his.
He sighed deeply "It's not easy. But we can't stay caged in here".
She looked around the room. There were windows. They weren't barred.
"If I walk out, would they stop me? If I say that I need to be in the open air to feel better, will they deny it to me?".
"I don't know" he admitted "But I'm sure you wouldn't be allowed to approach the barbed wire fence".
Rose remembered the guards patrolling with rifles and trained dogs.
She couldn't escape, like any prisoner from a jail.
Her powers weren't trained enough to help her out. She could make herself invisible on camera, not in front of people.
"I don't want to talk about any of this for a while" she said through gritted teeth "It's unhealthy for me. I was avoiding you because I couldn't handle overthinking about how I want you, how I can't have you and all the disturbing things you said about us being together. Maybe it's all a useless discussion. All these troubles will kill my brain and me anyway".
His hands grabbed her shoulders like to shake those dark thoughts away from her, in vain.
"Don't talk like that" he said with urgency "I'm here and ready to do anything to help you".
"Even take a step back and let me go to sleep. So hopefully I can feel a little better?" she challenged him.
He hesitated and she expected him to refuse.
Instead he let her go and stepped away, so she could reach the door and leave.
"I'm sorry" he said bowing his head.
"It's not your fault" she said sympathetically, missing everything about him but she couldn't afford to cut their distance. She wasn't strong enough. She was too tired, too disoriented to face someone as overwhelming as he was.
"I won't avoid you" she added moving towards the door "Just don't make things harder. I'm not indestructible. My feelings and my mind are like heavy balls rolling on thin ice right now".
"I understand. Take some rest. I won't torment you anymore" he assured, following her movements with his saddened eyes.
"Thank you. Goodnight" she offered a small smile and turned to open the door.
"I love you too, Rose" he murmured, so softly that she could have missed it. But she trusted her ears.
She stiffened, emotions battling in her.
Do not fall into temptation right now, after all you've already sacrificed. She shouted to herself.
Rose swallowed hard and left. And didn't look back.

A/N

I'm not ready for what's coming next. I'm just not ready 😬

Stay tuned and brace yourself 💝