IGNORANTIA (Dark Academia!Wesper AU)

drie

My father is a clever man; he knows exactly how to make a man itch. He's like a parasitic bug that no one can see, but you can feel him on your neck, leaching out your blood. You can try your damndest to get rid of him, but he's always in hiding. And you can't tell anyone either, because then they know you have fleas, and you'll be shunned from parties and gatherings for the rest of your life.

I'm telling you this because my father is like a parasite; he knows exactly where it hurts.

And this — all of this — hurts. His "gift" of learning and education only reminds me of how much of a disgrace I am. This dorm room, as nice as it is, is always freezing. It's never cold enough that I'm allowed a heat lamp (a school-wide rule for very obvious reasons), but just enough that I can feel it under my skin, especially at night.

Tonight is no different in the room I share with Jesper. Not that he's here tonight, or course. It's something I've just learned to get used to at this point. He'll always try to sneak in at three in the morning, the smell of booze and cigar smoke strong on his clothes. I think he thinks he's clever by tiptoeing, but he always ends up tripping over the uneven floorboards and swearing up a storm.

I try to sleep facing the wall, but there's no escape from the cool wind seeping into the room. Even with two jumpers and three blankets on, I can't help but shiver. I miss my bed at home and its soft, pillowy mattress. I miss the smell of my sheets and the way the wind crept in through an open window on hot summer days.

But now I'm just cold.

The key to the door clicks, and a pool of candlelight bleeds through. Wood panels groan as Jesper tries to sneak in. He trips over one of the floorboards and swears.

"I'm paying an arm and a leg to be here, and they can't even bother to fix the floorboards?" Jesper whispers.

"Oh, shut up. It's not even your own money," a feminine voice whispers back.

"Still doesn't explain why we can't have even flooring," Jesper grumbles. "Kaz is paying good money to—"

"What was that all about, by the way?" The girl snaps. "We don't have an exam in Intro to Botany tomorrow."

"So?"

"I was ready to sleep at the Slat tonight!" She shouts in a harsh whisper. "Eat some suspiciously greasy food, start a fight—"

"That's more fun to you?" Jesper asks.

The girl huffs. "I don't know! All I know is that I'm sick of being around all of these pretentious assholes who think they're better than everyone else."

"Well, it won't be for much longer now, will it?" Jesper asks.

"Not if I can help it." The girl sighs. "Good night, Jes."

"Good night, Nina."

The girl shuffles off, and Jesper lets out a great sigh. He tries to be subtle as he moves about the room, but he fails tremendously. He hits his hip on the desk several times and nearly trips over his pants as he undresses in the semi-dark.

I'd love nothing more than to tell him to just light a brighter candle, but then my cover would be blown. If I admitted that I've been awake this entire time, he'd get suspicious. Would he ask me when I woke up? Can I lie to him and say I heard nothing of his conversation with this strange "Nina" girl?

Something about that conversation feels particularly exclusive. I don't think he'd be very happy knowing what I now know.

So instead I try not to move as he struggles in the poor light. I wonder if I look too stiff to be asleep. My back's still to him, though there's no way I can simply fall asleep now. I can see his silhouette in the candlelight that now hits the wall. I watch his shadow move around the cramped room near-frantically.