IGNORANTIA (Dark Academia!Wesper AU)

zeven

Weeks goes by without anything out of the ordinary catching my eye. Nothing new develops; Jesper sneaks off, Kuwei broods, and Dorian sticks to me like glue. If anything, the only real change has been Jesper's disappearances. They've increased in length over time to the point where I never expect him to be home after dark. It's been as peaceful as it has been lonely.

At least Dorian's been here to keep me company. He'll sit with me in my room from time to time, even going as far as using Jesper's bed one night because he had been too lazy to go home. Dorian is like that; so unapologetically serene that nothing can crack his spirit. It was overwhelming to be around him so often, but it quickly grows into easiness the longer he's around.

He sits across from me on Jesper's bed, quietly doing his homework while I try to pluck at the strings of my rental violin. I don't know why they insist on all music majors playing more than one type of instrument, but I'd rather the violin than anything else. My mother would be proud of me, I think, for choosing her old instrument. I just wish I had hers instead of one of the school's.

I grab the bow from the desk, testing it out on the bed of strings. Dorian rustles the papers on the mattress, and makes a disappointed sound from his throat.

"What's wrong?" I ask, still occupied with my new instrument.

"Eight more Grisha Indentures went missing in the Barrel last night," says Dorian as he rolls onto his stomach. "They were reported missing last night to the Stadwatch, but they just brushed it off as a thug problem."

"And they really said that in the news?"

"It's not Ketterdam Daily," says Dorian, "it's the school newspaper. Investigative journalists and all that. It'll probably get taken down in a few hours when the Council realizes what's being printed."

"Ghezen," I mutter.

That's kind of it; we both fall back into our silence after. It's how it is every night. It's comfortable, and it's routine, and... well, it's a bit boring. And I miss Jesper, as much as he stresses the everliving hell out of me. He was spontaneous and lively, and he certainly knew how to make things exciting.

I just wish he would talk to me.

I mean, we do talk, just not about what's important. He's always off with Nina, doing Ghezen knows what.

Dorian said he saw Jesper trying to sneak into the Chemistry classrooms last week. That's not exactly something Dorian would lie to me about, but it still feels wrong. What would Jesper even want with the Chemistry classrooms? Hell, I don't even know if he's even taking a science class right now. I don't even know what he's majoring in.

I just wish I could talk to him; grab him by the shoulder and say: "Why are you avoiding me?"

Maybe he's not avoiding me. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

Ghezen, I don't even know who I am anymore. This isn't me; none of this is! I just... I just wish there was someone I could actually talk to about this. Who would listen? Certainly not Jesper — not really — and Dorian's a definite no. Who does that leave me with? Nina? Ghezen forbid I go to Kuwei Yul-Whatever about this, although that would certainly be funny. Could you imagine that? I don't even know how I'd even start that kind of conversation.

"Hey, Kuwei," I'd say, "you know how we've been lab partners for months now and we still know nothing about each other? Well, luckily for you that ends today! Now here's all the drama in my life..."

Now that I think about it, he probably would enjoy it. He loves attention.

Dorian sits up and leans against the wall. A lock of chestnut hair falls into his eyes. He casually pushes it behind his ear. He looks nervous, or maybe just curious. He's too calm and casual to ever really look nervous.