61. Thank God For Morphine

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"Sweetie you need to wake up,"

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"Sweetie you need to wake up,"

Following the voice my eyes land on a gorgeous older women with a face almost identical to mine just aged nicely. Who's standing right in the garden that looks like the one just on the outskirts of our Russian Manison.

Wake up? I dont want to wake up it feels so nice here, nice and cozy like I'm home.

"Sweetie this isnt your home."

How did she-

"Oh yah I can read your mind up here so dont think about anything to crazy," she laughed, gosh her laugh sounds like mine and Konsy's.

Her laugh is mine, her face hell even her body and stance is identical to mine... "mom?"

Breaking out to a gaint grin she nods, "Hi sweetie."

"But how,-"

"Come here sweetie," basking in her postivty that is radiating off of her I race over to her and engulfed her in a hug.

Dying mintues after I was born, I never truely got to meet her, but I felt like I knew her through the hundreds of stories my father and his workers told me.

She was an angel in the wicked underworld, a bright spot in this cold dark place, and an innocent women taken way to soon.

"Sweetie listen to me, you've been sleeping for to long. Its not your time so i need you to dig deep and find whatever strength you have, ok?" She said while hugging me even tighter.

"I dont want to leave you mom, I just- I just got here," I whimpered . How am I supposed to leave her when I just met her, I mean my dad has been amazing but shes my mom.

"I know sweetie, but you're at a point where if you dont wake up now, you wont ever."

Loosening her grip on me she pulled me slighly off of her so she could see my face, "I'm so proud of you and your brother just know I'm here with you in your heart always."

My father would always tell me that, when I would ask why I don't have a mom, "shes with you in your heart always."

"Ok mom," Examining her face I remember that wherever we are she can read my mind. And the memory of my father was putting a shit eating grin right on her face.

"Thank your father for me, but tell him its ok to fall in love again,"

Over the years my father sure had a few dates, and sleepovers but he refused to ever entertain the thoughts of a girlfriend, "I'm one and done kind of guy he would say like that explained everything."

"I'll try but you know him, when it comes to falling in love again he just wants to stick with the one love he had."

"Always to good for me," she remised with a love struck look on her face.

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