Finding You.

CHAPTER 33

SOMILA

At the breakfast island, we all eat delicious French toast - with different types of toppings -  made by Sam and Skyler. I'm glad Skyler is talkative, so I don't have to talk to Aya after how he spoke to me before we came to the kitchen.

After breakfast, Sam leaves the house as he is fully booked for the day. Miss Mary comes in since it's Wednesday. She yells when she finds Aya and I both hovering over the sink of dishes. Skyler laughs out loud, not missing the chance to gloat.

“I told you guys.” She says, squealing in excitement. “You’re very hyperactive for someone who skipped school because they’re sick.” Aya jokes, but that catches Mary’s attention. “You’re sick? What’s wrong child? Tell Aunt Mary what ails you.” She puts the back of her hand against Skyler’s forehead.

I see an expression on Skyler’s face… she isn’t really sick, but she sure does look like something is bothering her at school. I wonder who would want to hurt this sweet girl. Mary kicks us out of the kitchen to give her some meds, and Aya rolls his eyes before we go upstairs.

“What time is it?” I ask when we get to his room. I’m not even sure what I’m doing in here, but a force of habit has landed me in his room.“It’s almost ten, which means we’ve got two hours before you need to prepare for work.”
       “We?” My mind is constantly trying to catch up to him. He’s so unreal... it’s kind of hypnotic.

“Bath with me.” He startles me with his requisition. I'm rendered silence, I don’t know what to say. “Aya I, uhm.”
      “Please Mila.” He pleads, his eyes almost saying the words that his mouth fails to say. I try not to cave in.

I know I slept next to him last night, but that was only because I couldn’t sleep, and I really needed some sleep. I didn’t think he’d be in his art room at that time... but I have to admitt, I was happy to find him there. I knew it meant he couldn’t sleep either.

When he woke up and told me to sleep next to him, a lot of questions raced in my mind, but I ignored them and slept next to the man I have fallen for. “We both know you want to say yes.” He prompts, dismissing my thoughts. I jolt back to the present moment again.

There’s nothing I want more than to have a nice, warm bath with him… but I can’t. Having a bath with him would just reveal what I’ve been hiding from him these past few weeks. The argument with the tattoo turned into a big deal, I don’t know how he’ll react when he finds out that I went through with inking my skin.

“Aya, I can’t.” I begin. “Why not?” his eyes search mine, a crease between his concerned brows. “Because… because…” I have no excuse whatsoever. “Somila I know I fucked up okay? I fucked up a lot, I know that… But I’m trying here, I want to fix this mess that I’ve caused but... you’re not making things any easier for me."

He stops for a while, as if gathering what he wants to say. "I mean, we slept together last night, so what’s the difference with having a lousy bath with me?” He’s getting angry now. “The difference is that we’d have to be naked Aya.” I make my point.

I see his face turning to an emotion I've never seen before. He seems hurt, almost completely destroyed... but then he fires back, pure evil clouding his eyes. “Well it’s not exactly like I haven’t seen... or been all up in that.”

He faces the balcony after saying this, surely having seeing all the blood draining from my face. I can’t believe he said that to me. Does this confirm my suspicions? That all he wanted was sex, and now that he got it, he doesn’t really care about me? I mean why would he go from dating the likes of Sara, to me?