The Love of Yesterday

Chapter 2

⚠️TW⚠️ sh there's a marker just before it. 
sorry its a shorter one. 

Alice:
I hear the door slam as my best friend and the love of my life walks out on me. What have I done. I'm crying a little less now mostly I'm in shock, I gather my bag to leave. As I get some paper to leave Lauren and Princeton a note I see Harper left her photo album here she bought it here so we can see what we looked like as kids again. I open it and on the first page is a picture of Lauren and her brothers, it is labeled may 2006  two days before the crash. the picture next to it is of Prince and his mom. she looks as put together as always it must be before the fighting started because she docent have the anger in her eyes that she dose now.

 I flip through the other pages and stop on a selfie we took. The polaroid is worn out on the edges and the picture has bad lighting but you can make out Harper and my face it's the night I gave her our necklaces. That's was the first night I new I loved her.

I take the picture out and write on the paper Harper got sick so I went home with her <3 - A and leave it on the kitchen counter. I walk out the door and start my walk home.

Why did I say that I messed everything up. Why do I have to love her. I never deserved her anyways she is perfect the way her hair falls on her shoulder her bangs have a perfect curl and her freckles are as if someone placed each individual one. Her grades are a million times better than everyone in our school and she has the best makeup every day. She is the best pianist I've ever heard and she has so many talents I could never compare. Why would she pick me. Why did she choose me as her friend out of everyone at school. All I can ever do is disappoint her, why do I still love her.

  As I walk into my house my mom left a letter on the door be home later work called love you -mom and max, my dog, runs up to say hi with munch fallowing. "Hi boys," I say through tears. I'm almost done crying now can feel the pain slipping into nothingness. 

"do you want a treat guys." I say so they leave me alone I pet them as I get max some ham and munch some chicken and then they run back to bed to eat there treat. 

⚠️⬇️

I walk up to my room I am not sad anymore I just don't feel anything. what is wrong with me why can't I be sad like a normal person. As I see my bathroom at the top of the stairs I walk in and look at myself in the mirror my eyes are puffy and pink with black make up smudged around, my brown hair has fallen out of my ponytail, and my once tan skin has gone pail. I  look back into my shower and see my razor sitting in the cup I used earlier to shave. I grab it from the cup and walk to my room as I remove the blades. 

  It's been two years sense last time I relapsed. I open my bedroom door and turn my light on, I deserve this though. I pull my phone out of my pocket and try to turn it on but it's dead so I toss it on my bead. I feel my necklace from inside my hoodie and pull it out. the hart has faded a lot sense I first got it, I have only taken it off three times to clean it but there's no point at keeping it on now. I pull it off, the clasp broke as I yanked it. I take my blade out and pull my sleeves up all I can think about is how Harper will never talk to me again I ruined everything. I've lost the love of my life and best friend all because I was stupid and fell in love. I bering the razor to my wrist and push the it into my skin as I drag it across it takes a second for the blood to start spilling out. I cut deeper then I ever have before and within five minutes there's at least a  gallon of blood on the floor and my vision is blurring. Blood was pooling up in my carpet and I hear munch barking at something from downstairs. I messed it all up, she will never speak to me agin. But I love harpe.......