Together Forever. {Sweeran fanfic}

Taylor

I just can't stop.

I keep crying.

I should move on.

But I keep on crying.

I can't stop.

I want to but can't.

It's only been a month since my birthday party and 2 days ago I found Ed cheating on me. Great.

I run to the bathroom and puke.

I gave my parents Meredith and Olivia for awhile a week ago because I went to a road trip with Karlie. Came back, found out the cheating and asked my parents to watch them a but more.

I ignored all my calls and locked myself in my apartment.

Karlie came and checked on me. She was really nice but I asked her if I could be alone and she understood. It's been 2 days and lots had happened, I guess. I would sit in the corner in my bedroom with tissues and just stare blankly at the wall.

I loved my fans, I loved my job, I loved songwriting, I still love all of it. But then being famous, yes it was amazing lots of people knowing me but then hard. I have no privacy at all and it tired me to hell.

I haven't ate in the 2 days. I tried moving on, but not right now. I didn't cut or anything, I just sat and cried. Nothing really changed of crying but I time was the only help. As time goes by, I might realize how Ed really wasn't special at all. Or as time goes by, I might still cry and miss Ed and eventually meeting him? Or as time goes by, I might be strong enough to go on Tumblr, or Instagram or Twitter and text some people back. I sat there and sighed. But then suddenly felt ashamed of myself of being like this. Sitting here, curled up in a ball and crying my eyes out. I was really weak, but got to stand up. I went to the kitchen and got a glass of water. I took a sip, felt like puking but stopped myself. I took a deep breath and brought my glass of water to the living room. I got my phone and sat on the couch. I took a deep breath and opened my phone. 49 notification. 3 from my parents each. 13 from Karlie, some from my other friends but most from Ed. I just could not read them. The recent one was a minute ago.

Please don't Taylor.

It said.

I deleted the message and blocked him. I was full of anger but then full of sadness. I saw Karlie's message, didn't read all but just texted her hi and I was better. My parents asked me if I was okay also about Mere and Olivia. I sent them each a quick text and decided to move forward.

I decided to think. Actually think.

Ed has cheated on me. How? To the bar and making out.

What do I not like? The person I was deeply in love, going with someone else, which isn't me. The person I was deeply in love, forgetting about me. He forgot me. He doesn't care about me.

So why should I care about him?

I decided to go on Tumblr. Some of them knew about Ed cheating but I think they knew how I would not want talking about that and such and so my dashboard was full of hilarious gifs and memes. I laughed. Not as hard as I do in other days but I laughed. I liked some stuff and lots noticed how I was active and they all made my dashboard crazy. I liked stuff, replied, reblogged, and soon enough I felt back to normal again. Well not exactly normal, I was depressed and sad and still mad but I felt much better then I did before. But I did decide that I really can't stop looking at the negative side. I knew someday I had to go over him and I also had my fans, and friends and family and my job overall. I try looking at the positive way, but there's no exactly a positive thing on the man you loved so much, cheating on you. No, not at all. After about the half am hour of Tumblr, it was about 4pm but I had cried so hard, I was sleepy. I went and changed my clothes at least, to a new pajama. I went into bed and smiled to myself a but trying to be happy as possible. I really can't be all depressed the whole time.

I eventually go to sleep.

-

This was the worst day of my life. I loved Ed, I was deeply in love with him and I really couldn't move on. This was way different from the other breakups I had. I couldn't even write a song from it. I was really not okay. I was sad and depressed.

I walked into the kitchen again and the next second I had a cup of beer I had poured myself, not noticing.

I knew I shouldn't be drinking and forgetting all about this. But I did. I had the alcohol going down my throat. I started getting all dizzy. I wasn't strong on alcohol that much and I got drunk easily. I drunk and drunk, I felt free. I felt like I had nothing to worry about.