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Xiao × reader [🤡]

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So you know how to cook yes or no?

"today we will not order out!" you shouted from nowhere as you got up from the couch, scarying the shit out of Xiao, who was chill next to you, WAS.

"what the hell..you mean we will cook?" he asked in an incredulous way, i nodded and pointed out; "and you will help me! You told me you knew how to cook..don't you?"

Xiao after a moment of silence nodded, fuck it, he couldn't be that bad in cooking, isn't that right?

He got up and both started making their way to the kitchen; "ok, let's make..pancakes..we have this thing for the pancakes since i don't know wh-"

"Y/N THAT COULD BE SO DANGEROUS y'know what? Since i am your teacher, you will call me..chef Xiao.." you almost burst out laughing as he looked at you as if you were a big insect.

"o-ok chef Xiao pft- ok um where should we even start then?" he things curling up a finger on his chin, and then release it.

"go grab a bawl." you lookek for it, and then put it in front of you; "good now lemme just.." he goes to the fridge, and grabs an egg, and crack it, letting some egg cracks in.

"are you sure..egg cracks should just..go in there..?" he nodded pride fully leaving the big parts aside.

"good, now, the flour, and were going to put it in the bowl, and then were going to mix with..with this..um..thing..that..yea idk but you need it to mix the stuff" he got the flour, gave it to you and i just pour it in, he smiles and gave the mixing thingy that you don't know the name of to you.

Now you mix, but he told you you were doing it shit, so you just let him do that, and he does just the same as you, after like idk a bit he finished and it actually looked kinda..idk cute ig.

"ok now you gotta grab a good pan for me and we are going to just put this good looking..um..mix..um..m-mix..yea mix." you go grab the pan, grab, and put it where the fire it's supposed to turn on.

"ok good now we just-" he puts the mixing..the mix on the pan, and he tries to open the fire, but doesn't know how to.

"HOW DOES THIS THING EVEN WORKS" he was just fiddling with all the things that..the little..button thingys..that like turn around and stuff..yea no you understand.

"XIAO STOP OH MY GOODNESS THATS NOT HOW OUR..uhh..THING WORKS" he stops, and turn to me; "then..if you know how- IF YOU THINK YOU CAN TEACH ME SOMETHING go on."

I take a match and light the thing on, but the fire was unusually large, but neither you or Xiao could notice since you both sucked at shit in cooking.

"oh."

"WELL WE NOW WAIT FOR THE THING TO COOK" you put a timer and-

AD!!!

your tired or your hair being musty and crusty and rusty? Well if you are not, i am tired of seeing them on you!

Are you tired of your hair being flat and/or being like zeus just hit you with a lightning? Well if you are not, i genuinely don't care!

Then just take the GOROU ULTIMATE FLUFF SHAMPOO

It is made to make hair and tail and ear fluff more fluffy and good looking than every other shampoo!

Get it in every shop for 3000$!!!

END OF AD!!!

Now the timer stopped, and you turned to the kitchen, just to see it half burned.

"XIAO WHAT THE FUCK"
"WHAT DO YOU WANT DAMN"

i pointed to the kitchen

"AAAAAAAA WHY IS THE KITCHEN BURNING WHAT KIND OF PYRO DEMON FUCKING CAME IN THE HOUSE I WILL KILL IT" his mask appeard as some wind started surrounding him.

"NO XIAO N-"

AD TIME!!!

You don't have friends? Me neither!
You don't have a father figure? Me neither!
Do you have bitches? Me. Neither.

Diluc is talking btw and i am here to tell you YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF RUNNING AWAY FROM ME I'LL MAKE YOU LOSE YOUR 50/50 RIGH

END OF THE AD!!!

Both you and Xiao were standing outside, looking at your house burning.