Uncontrollable Heart Book 2 (Poetry) (Journaling)

Why Can't You See

Dedicated To: Lizzy

What am I to you Lizzy?
What the hell am I to you, huh
Like really, I'm a friend one minute then a nobody the next
I feel like I'm being taken for granted by you
You only want me when you want something your way
Why the hell am I here if I'm just gonna be like some toy

I mean you act clingy, somehow your cute
I act clingy, it's damned unacceptable for some reason
I say how I feel or what I see or think, I'm hurting someone
You say whatever and you don't care, it's fine somehow
Why the hell am I here living with you, but you ignore me
I move out you act like a clingy 5yr brat

What is it you want from me
Seriously why do you care so damn much but treat me so badly
When I'm gone your sad but you forget me when I'm Infront of you
I mean I wanna hate you, but you act so dumb but not on purpose
So I have to wonder if your like this and you don't even know it
I just don't understand why you do those same things I somehow can't

You say we're friends, but what exactly do you think a friend is
I'm sad you just leave, I'm happy you stick around
What the fuck am I to you cuz I'd love to know
Go ahead and tell me what it is I mean to you
Because if I'm honest I feel like a type of friend who's replaceable
I just am getting so many mixed signals from you

You say one thing but your body language has others plans
I try to be there for you no matter what ya know
But I'm starting to feel more like your mother than your friend
This isn't easy you know
I just don't know how and what to feel anymore
So I try to keep busy, I mean my minds like a damn race track

You need to take care of yourself you know, stop giving up
I mean it's like your not even trying you just decide it's stupid
I mean I'm a fucking mess in the making but now I'm just tired
I'm just getting so damn tired of life, I clung to you as my hope
I'm not feeling the same way anymore ya know
I mean I just don't wanna be abandoned again

But you know what, I feel like if I died or left you'd be fine
I feel replaceable to you, because it's not like I'm special ya know
You always keep your walls high and lock me out
I just wanna help, but I guess even I have a limit
I just searching, and I know it's not easy for you
But why the hell would you think I'm the same as the others

I'm just giving up, and you know what I tried for you
I tried to do better but your damned attitude sucks
Your dragging me down and I'm fucking letting you
I just care for you to much, but your becoming toxic you know
Your making me feel like shit and like maybe I don't matter
Maybe I never did maybe I should die or I should just runaway

Why can't you see you killing me with how you give up so easily
I don't wanna say anything, I don't wanna tell you
I know I'd hurt, you'd blame yourself I want to blame you too
But we should both know it's my own fault, Im the messed up one
But honestly I wish you'd just not feel sorry for yourself so much
I mean if I were to tell you, you'd just feel sorry for yourself right, so instead just get better
Be better, be stronger, be a fighter and become the survivor you are
Just get better, be happy, heal yourself, love, live and let live