"To those who sing alone, no need to feel this sorrow." - Andy Biersack, "Fallen Angels"
Rayvyn Rose Reznor grew up with Nine Inch Nails frontman Trent Reznor. She never really had a mother in her life, and she liked living with Trent. One day, whil...
A few days later, Andy and I were in Cincinnati, Ohio, having lunch with his parents. "So, Rayvyn and I have something to tell you," Andy said, having noticed that I had gently squeezed his hand to let him know that it was time to bring up my pregnancy. "What is it?" Chris asked us. "Rayvyn?" Andy said simply, looking over at me. "Andy and I are expecting our first child!" I said excitedly, and my in-laws got up and hugged me and Andy, and it was all we talked about until we got to their house. "The main thing that stinks about this whole pregnancy thing is that all of the foods that I love now make me want to throw up," I said with a sigh. "That's normal for the early stages of pregnancy. Once you get over the morning sickness, you won't get nauseated as easily," Amy said. "Thanks," I said.
When we got back home, I felt terrible, and I couldn't stop throwing up for a few hours. "I feel like shit," I said. "I can imagine. Throwing up for a few hours doesn't exactly sound like a very pleasant experience," he said, and I couldn't help but laugh. "What's so funny?" He asked. "You. I don't think I'll ever understand how you can be so calm about everything that's happening in our lives," I replied. He suddenly turned away from me, and I began to wonder. "Andy, baby, is there something that you're not telling me?" I asked him calmly. "No. I don't know why I just did that," he said, but I didn't buy it. "What is it? You know that I don't like it when you hide stuff from me," I said. He simply stood there, still with his back to me, and I felt like he was scared of me or something. "Andy, please just tell me. Don't shut me out," I said, feeling the tears coming to my eyes. "I can't. I'll drive you away if I do," he said. "Andy, you'd be more likely to drive me away if you don't tell me," I said, then something clicked in my head.
"You've been drinking again, haven't you?" I asked him. "I'm sorry, Rayvyn, I really am. I just can't help it," he said. I didn't know what to do, if I should get him some help, if I should cry, or if I should hit something. "Andy, you need to do something about this. I don't want you to do something you'll end up regretting later on," I said. "I know, Rayvyn. I just haven't had anything to really push me to do it," he said. "Do it for me, Andy. Do it for our baby," I said, holding his hands in mine. He studied my face briefly, then he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I will get rid of this addiction. For you and for our baby," he said. "Thank you, Andy," I said. "You know, I never really liked the taste of alcohol," he said. "Then why do you drink it?" I asked. "I feel like it helps me write better songs," he said. "Baby, I know that you can write great music without alcohol," I said. "Thanks. To be honest, the guys have been trying to get me to do something about it for a bit," he said. "Well, I don't know about you, but I feel like watching movies for the rest of the day," I said, slipping past him and heading to the living room.
After watching movies until about 10 pm, I announced that I was going to take a shower and go to bed. Andy joined me ten minutes after I got into bed, gave me a kiss goodnight, and fell asleep, with me following soon after.
About a week later, I had finally gotten over the nausea and morning sickness, and Andy and I were going to go see my dad and tell him the news of my pregnancy. When we got to his house, he was waiting for us by the door, and we went inside. "So, how have you two been?" He asked. "I've been good," Andy said. "Meh, I could've been better. I've honestly felt like shit since right around Christmas," I said. "Well, you look better than you give yourself credit for," Dad said. "I started feeling better a few days ago," I said simply. Andy and I sat down on the couch, while Dad sat down in his chair. "So, um... Andy and I have something to tell you," I said. "What's up?" He asked. I exchanged a quick look with Andy before I turned back to Dad. "I'm pregnant," I said, and Dad's eyes widened. "Really?" He asked, and I nodded. "That's wonderful news, sweetheart. I'm happy for you two," he said. "I think that we're going to wait to find out the gender of the baby until after it's born," I said. We talked for a while before Andy and I went back home, and I was thinking about taking a warm bath to help me relax.
Back at home, I told Andy that I was going to take a warm bath to de-stress. Afterward, I laid down on the couch next to him, resting my head on his lap. I looked up at him and smiled. "Why are you smiling?" He asked me. "Because I'm happy. I have a loving husband and a baby on the way. What more could I ask for?" I asked. "Fair point," he said, and I sighed, with it sounding like a laugh. "What's so funny?" Andy asked. "I'm not laughing. I have SOB - shortness of breath," I said, and he chuckled. "What's so funny?" I asked him with a smirk. I moved so I was sitting in his lap, giving him a quick kiss and brushing a few stray strands of hair away from my face. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," he said. "Aww, I was just about to say the same thing about you!" I said with a grin, then I looked at the time. "Oh shit, I've gotta make dinner!" I said, heading to the kitchen to make some soup for us. Once it was done, we had our soup and watched some movies until we went to bed for the night.
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The part about shortness of breath was inspired by a scene involving Logan and Louise on episode 8 of Claim to Fame. Here's a meme about how it can seem like the year is going by really fast:
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