Ecstasy

Wealthy History

"The most loving parents and relatives commit murder with smiles on their faces. They force us to destroy the person we really are: a subtle kind of murder." 

- Excerpt by Jim Morrison

I go back to the dinner table with Amelia close behind me. Lucas' eyes shift between both me and Amelia and he knows what just happened but he doesn't say anything keeping his lips pressed tightly together.

I sit down at the table and Lorenzo turns to me, "Are you okay?" he whispers. I take a deep breath and I nod, trying to convince myself that I'm okay as well.

I just need to survive a couple more minutes. The dinner is almost done, even though I barely touched my plate.

We continue eating in silence and it leaves me with my thoughts.

Did he never want me? Why did he not fight for me, the both of us, instead of just fighting for Chloe? Why in the world did he not want me?

I put my utensils down and look at him. Heavy with disgust.

"Why did you not fight for me? What was the reason you put a restraining order on me even though I did absolutely nothing wrong?" I ask him and he looks around nervously.

"Why are you bringing up something like that?" he scoffs and glances at Amelia but looks back at me with an aggravated look in his face.

"Daddy, what does restaurant order mean?" she asks, trying to pronounce "restraining order" but obviously can't, hence the mispronunciation.

"Amelia and Ariana go upstairs. These guests have obviously overstayed their welcome," he demands and I scoff in disbelief.

Oh, really now?

"Are you going to keep hiding both Ariana and Amelia in the dark?" I'm so mad that I can't keep my temper in check. I'm pissed out of my mind. I'm glad I believe Amelia because right now I especially do.

"I loved you. I wanted a father. I went from Las Vegas to Carson City all alone when I was 14 years old! I thought you would take me in but all you did was turn me away," I shout, "I could've died you know but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't even care."

"I'm tired of this disrespect. Especially in my house," he argues, standing up at the table.

"I fucking hate you!" I yell at him, tears are threatening to fall again and I know I'm scaring Ariana, Chloe, and Amelia but I don't care. I'm too mad that I can't keep my mouth shut.

"Get the fuck out of my house!" he curses.

"I will gladly go. Fuck you," I say, flipping him up and I turn to leave.

Lorenzo follows me but before he leaves he thanks Lucas and Amelia for the food. I'm not thanking him for anything. I did enjoy the meal, the most I can muster to actually swallow but I hated being in this house.

I learned things I didn't want to.

I enter the car and Lorenzo enters the driver side.

"Drive," I demand, "I don't care where but not home."

I'm trying to make sure with all of my might to not cry. I don't want to. I already seem weak in front of Enzo. I don't want to be even more.

Once we drive out of the neighborhood I begin crying. Tears are running down and they seem to have no plan of stopping.

Did he never love me from the start?

He continues driving and I put my head in my hands and continue to sob right there. I don't care what's happening right now or where we're going but I just want to scream out until my vocal chords break and I can't speak anymore.