An Unkind Addiction

Chapter Twenty-Eight

As Foxy and I left the big doors behind us, I fell to the floor, barely breathing. The whole of The Bears Rugby Club were there in their club suits and ties. They were lined up either side of the pathway with rugby balls in their hands. I was picked up by Foxy, leaving my crutches behind and was carried through the tunnel of players and supporters.

I rested my head on Foxy's shoulder and I couldn't control my tears. I realised they had made a tunnel as if it were Oliver's last rugby match. A roar of applause erupted for him. The players and coaches were all crying. I couldn't contain the howl of pain as I acknowledged that they had paid the highest level of respect to him, in his final moments.

I didn't understand how they managed it. Someone must have organised it in memory of Oliver. It must have been one of the coaches. As I looked at his mum, she was going through the tunnel, crying her eyes out and touching each player on the cheek and saying thank you. 

Janet broke a couple of players, by the time I had gotten through, they were a state. It's not often you see a group of fully grown men cry. I was happy that they weren't scared to let their feelings out and they might have started to grieve.

We got to the limo and Foxy put me down, he then helped me into the limo and we were following the hearse, to the cemetery to bury him. The last step. The last goodbye. All I knew about this day, was that I couldn't feel any worse than I did at this moment in time. 

The medication I was on had made me sleepy and I just wanted to curl up into a little ball and fall asleep. My stomach was hurting, with the gigantic dressing pulling at the healing skin beneath it. My leg was hurting the most. Staring at the carpeted floor in the limo, not taking any notice of the beaming sun outside. It was all too happy.

Again, the limo stopped. This was it. I took Foxy's hand without hesitation. I would have to help him through this as much as he was going to have to help me. The chauffeur got out and opened the door for us. No-one moved. There was an eerie silence, just breathing could be heard. 

It was Oliver's mother that made the first move. Not making a noise, just getting out. Everyone else continued getting out of the car. I didn't have my crutches. I would have to walk. I started to. Pushing myself with every step, as pain rippled through my body. 

Foxy started to protest, and I just held my hand up to stop him. I walked up to Oliver's mother and took her hand and gave her a silent nod. She half smiled. We could do this. Foxy came up behind us and put his hand on my shoulder.

The sun was shining, and the grass was green. Flowers surrounded all the other headstones making it look like we were in a happy place. In reality, it was far from it. Following Oliver up the hill, I felt numb, so much so that the pain wasn't affecting me anymore. He would want me to be strong, so I would be. 

We stopped to a halt by a large muddy hole. That was where Oliver was going to be placed to rest. Forevermore at this place. I looked around and there were trees not too far away, covered in big emerald-coloured leaves. It was a pretty place. Almost perfect. I looked back down at the hole and a wave of hatred hit me from out of nowhere. I wasn't expecting it. I focused on my breathing, this was neither the time, nor the place to feel like this.

The rest of the group joined us as the Reverend said his words. His mother and I were to put a single red rose on the coffin to symbolise our love for him. She went forward to do it. Janet kissed her right hand and placed it on the coffin, with her left hand she delicately put one of the two most perfect roses I had ever seen down. 

As she came back, I turned to her and kissed her on the cheek. I didn't really even know her, but I was so proud of how she had gotten through the day with such grace. I still had a thing or two to learn.