Between the lost stars

Chapter 13

Annie

A while ago.

"Annie!" My mother called me, standing on our large porch. It wrapped around the house and was my favourite place. I had spent almost every spare secound there. ''We have guests!  Straighten your dress.'' I did as I was told. Her green eyes scanned me one more time. She looked troubled, but quickly gathered her strength and went inside the house. 

Our house is huge. Sometimes I would hate it and feel trapped. No one allowed me to leave, to find out what the world was bringing. Find out what's beyond the little river that divides our property, the thick forest that goes as far as infinity. Nobody let me learn about what life was like there, in the distance. My parents never let me go to town, look at libraries or the people who worked there. They were afraid of something. But I always found how to sneak out, how to spend endless hours watching the calm mornings in the city, feel the fresh smell of bread and see people loving their grain fields and children running with smiley faces.

My mother was a good person. She always tried to give me all that best. However, when she found me watching the quiet town, something dark flashed in her green eyes. I walked into the house, walking slowly down the hallway. All eyes seemed to be watching my movements from the huge paintings. I took a deep breath and moved on.

Someone had come to us. To our big yet lonely house. No one ever came, no one ever stayed longer than necessary. But someone came. Someone wanted to see me.

My dress was fluttering around me. Happiness and joy flickered in my mind. I couldn't stop the smile beaming down my face. 

''This is Pete Nate.'' My father said. 

My thoughts stopped halfway through. He had such beautiful and light eyes, and they were fixed on to me so hard that it seemed I was burning from the inside. He was very tall and handsome, strong and powerful. His skin seemed to be kissed by the moonlight, so frighteningly attractive and pale. My heart bounced with joy, with love, with happiness. They were such quiet thoughts in me, but I felt them as strong and unstoppable as the only one to cling to with all my heart and soul.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Annie." My name sounded heavenly on his lips. He was smiling and I couldn't help my eyes.

''The pleasure is all mine!'' I said unable to believe how calm my voice sounded.

"He'll stay with us while he's doing some business in town." My father said as seriously as he could, but it didn't stop me thinking. I could think, I could dream and hope. I could watch him without saying anything. I could talk to him and love him without anyone knowing.

Every day, whenever I had a chance, I enjoyed Pete's company. I listened to his laughter and tried to catch any spare moment, only for him to look at me once more, so that for a second I could feel that strange, untamed feeling deep in my stomach. Every night I looked at the ceiling of my spacious room in the dark, hoping he would choose to stay longer, choose to set up a company for me and fill our house with long-overheard laughter.

My wish came true. 

Once the business was over, he chose to stay, set up a company for me and help me study. He really wanted me to find out all he could give me. He told of cities outside this town, this continent. Told of people, how they lived. About animals. About the world, the future and the past. He answered all the questions without hesitation. I believed every word he said.  I caught every word, every laugh, every look. 

I fell in love with him straight away, the way he made me feel. The way he looked at me, the way he talked. I fell in love with what kind of woman he made me. If my parents saw anything in my eyes, they said nothing. He didn't say anything either, he was only a couple of years older than me. It seemed so forbidden, so unfair, yet so necessary for me.

That feeling grew in me every day and second, and I wasn't going to stop it because it was so real, so naive that I wasn't going to destroy that little happiness that tore me in half, that prevented me from sleeping at night. That feeling was what helped me smile, which helped me not think of the world in the distance, it helped me stand on the spot and enjoy something much, much better. I enjoyed him. 

"You'll never lie to me, will you?" I asked him, in some afternoon lesson, so audacious and yet so innocent. Something was shining in his eyes. And I couldn't walk away from his gaze, from the way he sat next to me. How his fingers slid across the pages of books, helping me to discover more and more.

"Why are you asking me this, Lady?" His attractive face curled as his eyes narrowed and his strong facial muscles flexed. 

All I could think of was how lonely I had been in this house. For never having anyone in my life to talk to the way we did. Tears appeared in my eyes, but I couldn't wipe them away. My breath rushed through my lungs and I knew the words that came out of my lips hurt my soul, but he had to hear them."Because I haven't had anyone to trust. But I trust you, Pete.''

He smiled and my heart stopped. ''Often the closest people are able to hurt us the hardest. But I promise you, no secrets.'' We squeezed our hands together, like an unbreakable vow, to always trust if not the world, at least each other.

His smile was the only reason I was breathing. His eyes were still turning my soul around and it was in that moment that I realised  - Pete was all I needed to be able to live this life happily.

How naive are those people who have never experienced the world beyond the illusions of their own inner world.