It May Rain

Chapter Twenty Two

It's Wednesday evening and I still haven't confronted Hugo.

I've called in sick at work the past few days, even though I'm perfectly fine. I'm not even heartbroken anymore - to my surprise I got over the betrayal fairly quickly. I have nowhere near forgiven him, but I don't want to use up anymore energy hating him. I love Hugo, so it hurts me to hate him for too long.

But I can't ever be in a relationship with him though because the trust is gone. And ending our relationship is the part I've been putting off. I really don't want what we have to end, but I know it has to.

The past few months I've known him I've felt myself becoming a better version of myself. He's so calm and patient with me, even when I know I'm being snappy or unreasonable. And not only that, mentally I'm in a far better place than I was back in January. The days when I'd spend all day feeling isolated in the office, and go home and spend every evening by myself are gone.

I was miserable with no direction in life, and he came along like a beacon in the middle of the night, and ignited something inside me that up until then I didn't know I had. Back when no one else was giving me the time of day, he was the only one who thought I was worth their time and he showed me just how much a little bit of kindness can go.

Basically, I was lost until he found me.

He doesn't deserve to get away with how he's repeatedly lied to me, but he does deserve my eternal respect and gratitude. And he technically never cheated on me, which is more than I can say for my ex. So instead of angsty rage, I'm going to confront him with the news that our relationship is over. I hope we can still be friends afterwards, but that depends on how tonight goes.

The time now is six thirty as I anxiously walk into the Magnus + Son London office. The working day finished at six so everyone will have gone home, everyone except Hugo who always stays late. It's the best place to come and do this; I live in a cramped house share with nine other people and he lives with his mum, and there's no way I want to air our dirty laundry in public.

The elevator accelerates up the floors. My palms are sweaty and my heart is heavy. I don't want to do this but I have to do this. I can't allow myself to be with someone who lies without a second thought for how it makes me feel.

He knows all about how my dad's lies slowly eroded the trust in my parents' marriage, how it made my mum become bitter and cynical over the years; I absolutely cannot be in that kind of relationship.

The lights are turned off in the reception area and corridor, but I trigger the light sensors as I walk through, and the air feels dense as I wade my way through it to the main office area. It's an open plan office with around twenty desks and where everyone, including management, sits together. The whole room is empty and dark until I trigger the lights. Hugo's desk is in the corner, but it's empty.

Where could he be? Every day since I started working here he's stayed late. I practically had to drag him away from his desk last Friday so we could make our flight to Copenhagen.

I back out into the corridor and take a wander, thinking about where he might have got to. Then I spot the light on in the recreation room. It's the only room I've seen with the light already on. With a deep breath, I push the door open and see a laptop set out on an elevated side table, conveniently placed to hover over one of the egg-shaped reclining chairs. The chair has its back to me, but I can tell it's Hugo from the balance sheet on the laptop; analysing them is his favourite way to wind down.

"Hugo?"

His face peers out from the side of the chair.

Only it's not Hugo, it's Konrad.