i want to learn to fly // tommyinnit & timedeo

dump me side of the road (if i'm too annoying)

"Tom?" asked Wilbur. There was desperation in his voice. Tommy knew it was selfish to push Wilbur away, but he was scared. Scared that he would get even more scared and rid Wilbur from his life permanently.

"Hey Will!" greeted Tommy. He tried to act normal. Wilbur wasn't having it.

"Listen– I– I didn't mean to scare you off, I'm just worried about you–"

"Don't be! I'm just a bit sick at the minute. Bit of homesickness, stress of moving, it all just got to me. Things will be going back to normal in just a few days." Tommy actually thought that might be true. When Deo flew in, he'd be much more active.

"I know you're lying, Tommy."

"I'm not! Seriously Wilbur, I'm fine. I know you sent– fuckin' Deo to check-up on me, but trust me, there was no need. Deo just told me to tell you that because I probably shouldn't just ghost you until I feel one hundred, I guess."

"I– I didn't mean to–... just promise me you're getting help."

"I don't need help, Will!" insisted Tommy, still struggling to keep up a confident persona. He knew his voice was slowly breaking. He wanted nothing more than to leave the call. But he would stay. For Deo.

"Tommy, I swear to god, I will come to your flat, and–"

"Don't you fucking dare."

Wilbur went silent at the sudden mood change, the low, raspy voice Tommy succumbed to.

"I'm trying. I really am. But you all buzzing around my ears and breathing down my neck isn't helping. So leave me the fuck alone so I can heal."

Tommy wasn't sure why he expected that to go better.

Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, Deo was trying to calm down Wilbur. Wilbur was frustrated. Wilbur was angry at Deo for holding more of Tommy's trust. Wilbur was worried. Wilbur was a whirlwind of feelings and it was complicating things, just a bit.

It ticked Deo off, but he knew that Wilbur wasn't doing well. Deo tried to explain that Tommy had shut himself away after he told Deo what was going on nearly two years ago– that nobody, not even his closest friends, had any idea what was going on because Tommy was scared. He told Wilbur that Tommy was merely afraid, and that he just needed time to heal.

Deo described the way that Tommy would forcibly remove anyone from his life who knew about his problems. He made sure to mention that it wasn't just Wilbur who was experiencing this, that others of Tommy's friends were being ignored or brushed off. He made sure to mention the fact that Tommy was absolutely terrified of being a problem to his friends even if he was nothing close to it.

I just want to be there for him. 

It took everything Deo had to not respond in a way that would tell Wilbur how he actually felt. Deo wanted to be there for Tommy, too, but he didn't force anything. He didn't call Tommy and send him spiraling constantly. He understood. Wilbur did not.

Wilbur meant well. Deo knew that. But god, it hurt like hell. It hurt to see Wilbur trying so hard to take his place. The place he stayed for over a year. The place where he learned what Tommy needed, to prepare for the day he could help. If Wilbur wanted Deo's place so badly– well, Deo didn't think Wilbur could handle the part where Tommy cut him off for a year.

How do you think I feel? I lost him once too. This isn't about you, it's about him. He needs time before he's going to be ready to talk to you. Stop forcing it. It will only make him want to be around you less. Deo had moved to a passive aggressive tone. He hoped Wilbur took the fucking hint.