Falling - Hyunlix

What is Real and What is Fake?

"I've been worried about Felix for a long time now," Hyunjin admits.

He's holding a glass of some alcoholic concoction in his trembling hands, the ice clinks together as he shakes ever so slightly. It's cold in his hands, freezing, yet he can't bring himself to let go.

"When Channie hyung found the scales the sudden weight loss really made sense."

Jisung doesn't reply, Changbin only thumbs over Hyunjin's thigh in an attempt to comfort him.

He takes a slow sip from his glass, a wince present on his face as it slides down his throat with a burn. It would be a lie to say everyone hadn't realised Felix had gotten thinner...but they've all been on diets before. They've all been underweight at some point. It just seems some took it further than others.

"Didn't any of you notice?" Hyunjin asks, there's a tremor to his voice as he looks down at his glass, "And now that we have noticed no one is doing anything."

Hyunjin is right. They aren't doing anything. But what can they do? Each time anyone tries to talk to Felix he shuts down and snaps at them like a rabid dog...teeth bared and all. He won't accept their help.

That night where Hyunjin stood outside the bathroom, how different would things be if he intervened then and there? The possibility he could have helped Felix and prevented him from getting to this point is there. He should have done so much more. Should've. Could've. Didn't.

"I've been reading online..." Hyunjin murmurs as he taps his fingers rhythmically, "Y'know about eating disorders and shit. It says we can't force him to eat or he'll just avoid it more out of spite. We can't hold him down and shove food down his damn throat, we can't make him eat."

Jisung starts to nervously play with the hem of his sweatshirt, "What can we do?"

What can they do? Is there anything they even can do at this point? Felix'll probably end up in hospital by the end of the week hooked up to machines and shit. And it'll be all Hyunjin's fault because in his mind he had a chance to do something and didn't. He didn't do anything.

"It says to wait it out and 'support' his road to recovery," Hyunjin spits the words out like venom, "Bullshit. He hasn't got time to 'recover' of his own fucking accord. He's dying right in front of us."

Whoever said words can't hurt you fucking lied. Hyunjin was physically pained by his own sentence, it clawed at his throat as the words clambered against the walls. It was like throwing up daggers, agonising and seething torture.

"I love him so much," Hyunjin admits, "And I don't know what to do anymore."

If Felix was to die...Hyunjin doesn't think he could bear to live anymore.

He'd rather be dead than live without him.

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Hyunjin did a lot of thinking. A whole lot of thinking. He came to the conclusion that there was no way to help Felix. He just can't. Nobody can. Felix is the only person who can help himself...he won't let anyone else. All he can do is gently suggest and support him. Well, that was the conclusion he came up with. But then something big happened. Something unsettling. Something that made his blood curdle and throat tighten. He went straight to Chan.

"Hyung?"

The door creaks open, a dreadful prolonged sound and Chan can immediately tell that something is up. Suddenly, the harsh wind battering against the window becomes all that more sinister.

Chan raises his head from his laptop, "Yes Jinnie, what's up?"

Hyunjin shifts his weight from foot to foot, eyes unfocused and watery. Chan notices the unusual tremor in his voice. Almost like he's been struck across the face.