learn to love - pierre gasly

08

P I E R R E

-

june 2022

"Good morning," Meredith murmurs, a few minutes after my confession. I begin to worry that she might've heard something,

"Morning," I say stiffly, she looks up at me frowning,

"Are you okay?" fuck, she heard me,

"Yeah, I'm great," I take my fingers and begin to play with her hair, "I was just wonder what we're going to do when I leave,"

She bites her lip, "I don't know..." she starts, "I don't want to repeat history,"

"This times different," I smirk, "I wouldn't call us friends anymore,"

"Hmm, many people still call themselves friends after sex,"

"Not us," I lean in and kiss her.

M E R E D I T H

-

june 2022

I am consumed by him, every thought in my head is about Pierre, no one else. We spend most of the day in my apartment, avoiding the question of what to do once Pierre leaves for Baku.

It breaks my heart knowing that what we have can't last forever. How are we expected to marry each other in four years when I can't even accept to travel the world with him? I want to be with him, but not having a stable home for months isn't a life I want either.

Laying in my bed I try to ponder what traveling with Pierre would be like. All I can think of are the cons,

"It's not that bad," Pierre speaks, reading my mind, "I mean, at first it's annoying, but you get used to it, all the moving around,"

"That's because you've been doing it since you could speak," I remark, he shuffles in the sheets so he now faces me,

"Mere I need you,"

"I'm too tired, I can't think of this right now,"

"Do you not want to go because you'd leave your parents?"

"I don't want to go because I don't want to sleep in random beds every night and not be able to cook my own meals because there's no kitchens. Pierre, it's not a life for me,"

"But it's a life with me." his eyes melt my heart, but my brain is made of steel.

ONE WEEK LATER

Pierre leaves tomorrow and we haven't discussed me joining him for the rest of the F1 calendar since that night, I'm grateful he respects my choice. I find him packing his bag and peck a kiss on his head,

"Distracting me from my packing now?" he says,

"Maybe," I smirk, my hands playing with the buttons of his shirt,

"I need to pack," he dismisses me and I frown, "You wouldn't be frowning if you'd just agree to come with me..." he says under his breath,

"We keep having this same conversion and nothing ever changes, stop pushing it," I step away from him,

"Because I want you to come, and I won't stop until you've agreed"

"Why?"

"What do you mean 'why'?" he slightly yells,

"Why do you need me now? Why didn't you need me before?"

"I always need you," he says softly, "I always wanted you around,"

"Didn't seem like that to me," I snark,

"Is it not obvious?" he asks, I shake my head as a response, "I love you Meredith, I've always loved you." he grabs me head, placing a strong kiss on my lips, "Even when you didn't love me, I loved you."

"Part of me will always love you," I whisper,

"That part clearly doesn't love me enough," I didn't know what to say, so I just went into my room, and tried to sleep. Which resulted in crying myself to sleep.

The next day, Pierre leaves without saying goodbye. And everything we had is forgotten.