The Timeless Library

36. Nature's Calling

"Hey, buddy, everything okay?"

George, Claire, and Marie all stopped in their tracks, noticing Peter trailing behind with his arms wrapped around his stomach.

"Well, it's just... I really gotta use the bathroom."

George smiled and gestured all around him. "There's plenty of trees around. Take your pick."

"I don't know, it's kinda..."

"Better than nothin', don't you think?" Claire shook her head. "You're such a city boy sometimes, I swear."

George laughed. "Yeah man, no need to be ashamed. When nature calls, there's not much you can do."

"There's a nice-looking clearing over there," Marie said, pointing to an area off the beaten path. "The three of us can sit down for a bit and take a break while we wait for you."

And so, it was decided. Peter reluctantly left his friends behind, watching over his shoulder as they pulled out sandwiches and water bottles while engaging in their usual banter. Ignoring the sudden sense of detachment, he faced ahead and set his mind on finding the ideal, most concealed spot in the forest.

He saw a large boulder he could hide behind... but no, it was far too close to the group. Even if they couldn't see him, he shuddered at the possibility of them hearing everything.

He looked around for thick bushes, like the ones in movies, but the area's sorry excuse for an undergrowth was made up of tiny leaves that were few and far between. Not nearly dense enough to cover him, that much was for sure.

Then he tried to take George's advice more literally, and looked around for a suitable tree. Again, he could find none to meet his standards. They were all either too thin, crawling with bugs, or leaning at the wrong angle.

Perhaps it had something to do with his proximity to the clearing, Peter surmised. Surely his ideal toilet was waiting just a little further within...

...but as he took a step forward, something shone in his periphery. He turned to look, and yet there was nothing of note amidst the trees. Overcome with curiosity, he tilted his head this way and that, until at a certain angle he saw it reflect the sunlight again.

It looked like a thread, impossibly long and impossibly thin.

"A spider web?" Peter mumbled to himself, approaching it for inspection. If it really was a spider's web, it had to be one hell of a spider, for that one thread had no start and no end that he could find. It seemed to make its way through the entire forest unbroken.

Peter ventured deeper into the forest, using this mysterious thread as his guide. Plucking it like a guitar string, he followed its hypnotizing undulations, all the while scrutinizing every tree and shrub around him until, at last, when he reached the thick foliage hiding in the heart of the forest, he saw it:

A sturdy tree, taller and wider than the rest, surrounded all around by bushes so dense that Peter couldn't even see the bottom of the trunk, much less fathom what was on the other side.

Complete, private perfection.

Squealing with joy and relief, Peter began unbuckling his belt even before making his way behind the bush. And perhaps he should have waited, for the fly of his pants was already wide open when suddenly a mysterious woman with long, black hair emerged from the leaves, wearing a white crown and a dress made of sheer, white silk.

Peter's mouth fell agape. If a man screams in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does he make a sound?

"Fear not, weary traveler," the woman spoke, though it sounded like a thousand whispers. "You stand before the Spider Queen, guardian of the forest and all who dwell within."

Too nervous to fumble with the zipper, Peter just threw his hands over his crotch out of pure instinct. "Wh- what are you talking about? What do you want?"

"You, dear hero, saw nature's message to mankind, and followed it here, did you not?"

"Message? Follow? What... you don't mean-the spider web?"

"Precisely. Only a man with keen eyes and a kind heart is able to see nature's message. So the prophecy speaks."

"Prophecy? What in the world?" Had he been dropped into some fantasy movie? The self-proclaimed Spider Queen gave him little room to think about it.

"Indeed. There is no question that you are the Chosen One." She smiled, and though it was no doubt amicable, Peter could only focus on the long fangs protruding from her lips. "You shall be the one to take on the mantle of hero, and embark on an adventure to protect nature and mankind alike from any threat that dares come forth."

"Listen, ma'am..." Peter adjusted his pants. "Prophecy or no prophecy, I just came to-uh-do my business, and leave. So, if you'll excuse me..."

The Spider Queen's smile fell. "Surely other matters can wait? This is the journey of a lifetime. Your deeds as our savior will go down in history. Birds will sing songs of your achievements, bears will etch your stories into the trees..."

"There are bears here? Oh god. Um, listen, I really should be getting back to my friends..."

"Friends? Are other humans the source of your hesitation?" The Spider Queen crossed her arms, confusion written across her face. "You would ignore nature's calling only for a life of normalcy amidst those fleeting souls? That is truly your reason for this refusal?"

"Uh, sure. Well, that, and just that nature's calling in a whole other way, so to speak. So, um, I really gotta go. I wish you all the best on your thing!"

Thus, one hand still tightly clutching the fabric near his groin, Peter darted off back where he came from, leaving behind a stunned queen, a surreal prophecy, and the promise of a new story.