Fallen Leaves

Chapter 4: Proper Meal

It's the first time I felt like this; chills travelled down my spine as situations that never happened horrified me. For the very first time, I'm scared of the future possibilities that this change could bring. Never in my entire life had I considered being adopted or having a discussion about adoption. 

My hands wouldn't stop from trembling but my eyes was fixed on the front brown door where Miss Faith and I are heading. I wanted my feet to be glued on the floor but at the same time, it's like I'm being dragged into that room with no chance of negotiation. 

"Are you ready?" Miss Faith asked but I stood there and said nothing. It's my first time to experience such terrible nervousness and I don't know how I managed to still stand here. 

Miss Faith took my silence as a yes but deep inside, I wanted to shout and run away from them- but I couldn't. Something inside tells me that I don't need to run away or maybe... I can't. 

The door swung open and there I saw Miss Elle elegantly sitting on a humble chair while waiting for us. Her majestic eyes met mine and I was then again brought back to my senses. Her eyes are sharper than Jay's but then it reminded me of her son. 

The deafening silence of the room filled my ears as I sat on the chair, next to her. She offered me a gentle smile but I was still in shock to return her gesture. 

"Are you tired?" that was the first question she threw at me and it takes all in me to shake my head. 

"Maybe he's still in shock because of the good news?" Miss Faith jokingly said but I'm not having any of it. 

I can feel my vision getting blurry but I held them all back because I know I can get through this. I just have to know how I should I act and what are the things I should and shouldn't say. 

"I hope so." Miss Elle answered Miss Faith before looking at me. "Jungwon, I believe miss Faith had already told you my plan?" she started and I still can't smile or even offer my usual jolly self. No. I don't want this! 

"Jungwon, say something." Miss Faith said. 

"It's okay. Maybe you're still shocked but I just want to say it again - Jungwon, I'm planning to adopt you." she held my hand and that made me look into her eyes. "Your life is going to change. Jay and I, together with his father will be your new family. You will live with us from now on." she excitedly said. 

Hatred, rage and betrayal- all mixed together are the feelings that I had when she started talking. I don't want to be adopted! 

The door of the room opened again and this time, Jay went in. He smiled at me with cautious eyes and I hope he knows I'm not enjoying their attention. 

"Jungwon, what can you say? Do you want to be part of our family?" Miss Elle asked again. 

"Jungwon, say something-"

"No." I cut Miss Faith's words as I looked directly into Miss Elle's eyes. "No, ma'am. I don't want to be part of your family."

"Jungwon! Have some respect please!" Miss Faith demanded but I'm too emotional to care. 

"Respect?" I hissed as I threw a glance at Miss Faith. "Miss, do you know what you're asking for? Respect? Have you considered my opinion first when you discussed this matter with them? Have you asked me if I want to be adopted? Have you asked me if I want to leave my brothers here in the orphanage? No, right? So my answer is no! I will not give my consent to this adoption."

"B-But Jungwon, you know the policy of the Orphanage. We can't afford for everyone to stay here forever. The organization exists because we aim to find you guys a new family- all of you. We are blessed to have sponsors like Miss Elle and her family and it's more than a blessing that they want to adopt you-"