Heroine My Sweetest Sin (SLOW UPDATES)

Heroine my sweetest sin

Hey guys! Before you start reading I just wanted to say that I have no one to correct my grammar mistakes. If you see anything wrong please tell me so I can go back and correct it. I don't know if I said so in the description or not but I do not know how many chapters this story will have. It could be long or short, I'm still planning. I hope you read the warnings because chapter 1 has some triggers. Please don't be afraid to comment! Peace.

Edited

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Aron

I was scrolling through Twitter when I happened to pass by an interesting picture. I ran my thumb along my phone screen, double checking the image just incase my eyes were tricking me. Oh. I thought as I read the caption.

I read it over again and again. "It can't be." I said, more to myself since I was the only person in the room. I'm not sure what I was feeling right now. Anger, jealousy, confusion , shock and sadness were all floating around my head. I refused to feel this way though, I was denying my feelings right now. My ex-best friend--or crush was getting married. Jorel Decker was engaged to his girlfriend Vanessa.

Why the hell is this even in my feed?

I tried to push out the feelings and be strong but it wasn't working. I began to breathe heavily, my chest rising up and down as anger coursed through my veins. I glanced at the picture once more; Jorel was kneeling down on one knee, holding a mic and looking up at a girl with long hair and shorts that looked too short for her.

I let out a scream that could probably be heard all around the city. I knew this would happen eventually. They have been dating for a long time. I couldn't look at this anymore. I switched my phone off and threw it across the room, not bothering to go over and see if it was broken. I pushed myself up from the couch and put on an L.A cap before running out of my apartment. I rushed down the stairs and jumped in my car.

I slammed the car door shut as hard as I could and banged my hands against the wheel. I knew I had officially lost it when I let out another frustrated scream. I started up the car and backed out of the parking space, quickly switching the gear to high and driving out onto the road. This sucked. He was probably hugging and kissing on his new fiancé while I was here getting all worked up over someone I shouldn't even care about anymore.

I'm supposed to be over Jorel by now. Not just Jorel but everyone; Jordon, George, Matt and Dylan. I'm being a pussy right now. They've probably all forgotten about me, why can't I forget about them? I'm sure Jorel never even cared about me when I was in the band. They were most likely just acting, pretending to be my friend so we could look like a band that got along. As these thoughts ran through my mind a few tears began to build up in my eyes. I brought my hand up to my face and wiped my eyes, keeping my other hand on the steering wheel as I continued speeding.

I didn't know where I was driving but I think I had an idea of where my mind was leading me. I didn't want to but I found myself driving to a bridge. I knew very well how retarded this was but I couldn't see myself being happy ever again. Attempting suicide over a guy might seem stupid for some people but for me it was different. I wasn't in touch with Jorel at all. In fact, I haven't talked to him since 2010 but I still love him.

I've had a crush on him ever since we started up the band. I was a brother too him, which sucked, but I still felt something different for him.
Now we will never be together. We probably would never end up together anyways but now it is a 0% chance of that happening. People would tell me I'd find someone else but it wasn't like that. He was the only one.

I parallel-parked the car and in hailed deeply, staring at the benches with people sitting and enjoying themselves. It has come to this. Anger and sadness literally drove me to the point where I will commit suicide. Like they say, if I succeed I will be ending the chance of life getting better. If I fail I would most likely end up with a brain injury so bad it would also end the chance of life getting better. I'm better off not jumping at all but that would still mean a miserable life ahead of me. I didn't want to think about 'if I fail' and I didn't want to think about 'life will get better' because that was a lie.

My life sucks at the moment. I'm trying to release the new album but I'm having trouble with that and it keeps delaying. Due to that people keep bugging me about when will it come out. I'm stressed out about all of it and the cherry on top of everything is Jorel being engaged to someone else. That makes me sound like a whiny bitch but it is pretty hard for me right now.

Another thing is: even though I have a crush on him, if I was still in the band I would congratulate him. But since I'm not, I can't say anything to him. I'm just is ex-best friend and an ex-band member.

I opened the door slowly and stepped out of my small car. I closed the door and walked towards the ledge. I looked back at the people sitting on the bench and took notes. There was an elderly couple. By the time time they reached me it would be too late. Then there was a man and woman with five children running around, they would be too busy to notice. There was a person jogging with his dog and a younger couple sitting down in a bench. They had their arms around each other and they were laughing. Ha. Ha. Ha. So funny, today is such a great day for everyone.

I narrowed my eyes and watched them as I got closer to the ledge. The boy glanced over at me and frowned. I rolled my eyes and looked away. I sighed and leaned over the ledge once I reached it. I saw it had a huge lake under it, it was a long was down.

I knew the boy was still looking at me and it made me rather uncomfortable. I spun around on my heels and stared back at him. He had gauges and the girl had hair half black and half blonde. Oh. Oh shit. How did I not notice this before?

It was Jorel.

My were probably a million shades of red right now. I looked away and acted as if I didn't know who they were. Of course they were here right now.

I sat down and took off my cap, running my hand through my hair and sighed. Great, they were looking at me and I couldn't jump.

I looked back up at Jorel but they weren't looking anymore. Vanessa said something but I couldn't hear her. I did hear J though. "Yeah, that is him. No I don't know what he is doing here." I faced the other direction so my back was to them again.

I flicked my hat off the edge and watched it fall down. Half way down it became so small I couldn't see it anymore. A few tears fell down from my eyes and my gut twisted around. I didn't want to look back at them so I took a step up. I was now balancing on the skinny brick wall that protected people from falling. My hands gripped tightly on the hem of my shirt

No one was saying anything yet so I took that as a 'hurry up and jump' and that is exactly what I did. With one last look at Jorel I stepped backwards off the ledge and I began to quickly plummet down. All feeling in my stomach left and I now had a killer headache but it wouldn't last long because in a few seconds I would be dead.

I heard faint cries from some people and a scream from Jorel saying "No, Aron!" Wow. He was ignoring me until I jumped, that's nice. My body hit the water and I immediately sank to the bottom of the lake. I closed my eyes tightly as I got closer to the bottom. The back of my head hit the sharp rocks and I stayed there, not floating or bouncing back up. I was now laying in the bottom of the lake, bleeding out from my head.

My whole body was numb but I still had a heart broken feeling in my chest. I failed. I didn't die. I slowly opened my eyes but my vision quickly became blurry and dark. All I could see was black now. Everything began to fade away.