The Switch

Chapter 12: Will

Three days have passed since she moved into her apartment. Three days where I've talked myself down from asking her out. It's the fourth day now. I'm talking myself down again. She wants to wait, I remind myself.

That reminder is like a wall, trapping my question to her inside my mind. The question is chipping away at the wall, though. So is time. She never said how long she wanted to wait, a voice in my head is saying. That doesn't matter. I have to respect her wishes.

I pick up my phone and begin typing a message to her. I narrate what I'm saying as I text, as if it helps, "Hey, I was wondering if you would want to go out with me tomorrow. Maybe- no, no, no."

I delete everything and stare at the now empty text box. Maybe this isn't the best idea. We haven't seen each other much since she moved in. She probably wants space. But what if she's avoiding me? Should I address that?

"Ugh," I say out loud, throwing my phone down on my mattress.

Burying my face in my hands, I talk myself down again. She probably doesn't even want to date me. I mean, she said she liked me, so maybe she does. But what if not waiting will change her feelings for me?

I guess there's only one way to find out. When I pick up my phone again to text her, I check the time. Midnight already? I sigh, there's probably only a slim chance that she's awake right now. It'll have to wait until tomorrow.

With that, I put my phone on my nightstand and crawl into bed. Too many thoughts are running through my mind, though. That makes it hard to fall asleep. I try my best to shut off my brain and doze off after a while.

***

When I wake up, it's well into the afternoon. I don't bother to actually check the time, but I can tell by how high the sun is in the sky. It takes me a while to actually get out of bed, but eventually, my hunger gets to me.

I roll out of bed and walk to the kitchen. I get myself a bowl and pour some cereal into it. While pouring milk into the bowl, I hear my phone chime. Immediately, I get my hopes up that it might be Hayley.

Taking my cereal and my phone to the couch, I sit down and open my phone. It's a text from Courtney. It reads:

Courtney: Hey, I was hoping that we could talk soon.

I quickly type my response, not interested in whatever she has to say:

Me: No, I'd rather we don't talk anymore.

Courtney: I just want to explain.

Me: No, thank you.

She doesn't respond to that, thankfully. I don't think I have it in me to talk to her right now, or ever for that matter. With my hopes significantly depleted, I don't even want to try asking her out. I eat my cereal and lean back on the couch in defeat.

Maybe I won't ask her out today. The only thing I can hope for today is not getting texts from Courtney or Kyle. I'll just respect Hayley's wishes. I'm going to do my best to keep my feelings under wraps.

***

It's been two weeks since I talked myself down for a fourth time. Is that long enough? Yes, I'm still asking myself this. Everyday, I think about asking her out, but I never actually do it. It's killing me at this point. I don't know if I can take one more day of this.

I pick up my phone, getting a little excited. I think today's the day. We've talked over the past couple of weeks, but we haven't kissed since she moved into her apartment. I think it's her way of avoiding her feelings.

Unlucky for me, I can't stand looking at her and knowing she won't let me kiss her. One glance at her lips and I want to kiss them. I don't tell her this, of course. I never want to make her feel uncomfortable.

Quickly, I type out a text to her and send it before I can think twice about it:

Me: Hey, do you want to go out today?

She responds less than a minute later:

Hayley: Are you asking me out on a date?

Me: I might be, depends if you say yes.

Hayley: Don't worry, it's a yes.

Me: Then yes, I'm asking you out on a date.

Hayley: Where are you thinking of going?
Me: Just meet me outside. :)

I can hardly contain my excitement as I rush to my room. I'm acting like a little girl again. A pathetic girl that's all giddy over a date. I can't help it. I've been waiting for this for almost ten years.

I change into a pair of jeans and a shirt that at least seems to be clean. Slowing myself down, I make my way down the stairs and walk outside as calmly as I can. Hayley is already outside. Seeing her makes me grin. I walk over to her and notice that she's sitting on the same bench that she sat on during the switch.

Just like then–but better–I offer my hand to her. She takes it and I pull her up. "Hey," she says, smiling.

"Hey," I respond as I pull her down the sidewalk.

"Where are we going?" she asks, now walking beside me.

I grin, "You'll see."

We're silent for the rest of the walk and when we reach the library, Hayley stops and stares at me. She drops my hand and I give her a befuddled look. "What?" I ask, confused.

"You took me to the library?" she asks, her tone unreadable.

Slowly, I nod. She opens her mouth to speak but then she just covers her mouth with her hand. "That's so sweet of you," she says, her voice muffled.

I let out a breath of relief, "I thought you didn't like my choice of location."

"Are you kidding? This is the nicest thing anyone has done for me," she says, her voice now full of excitement.

With a grin, I take her hand again and lead her into the library. We look around for a while, mostly in the romance section. Glancing around, I make sure no one is there. I pull her around the corner of a shelf into a dead end. "What're you doing?" she asks.

"This," I reply before kissing her.

Her back meets the shelf that's against the wall and I continue kissing her. She returns the favor and applies gentle pressure against my mouth with hers. I grip her waist with my hand and I hear books behind her being pushed further onto the shelf.

She pulls away after a second and smiles. Her face is getting redder as she speaks, "I feel like we're in middle school again, stealing kisses and avoiding the teacher."

I laugh at her comparison of the situation. "Who's gonna catch us?"

"The librarian."

Just then, I hear a "shhh" come from behind me. I spin around and see one of the librarians standing behind me. "Sorry," I whisper as she walks away.

Hayley is the one laughing now. "I told you."

"Yeah, yeah. Come on," I say as I lead her back to the shelf we were browsing.

We eventually pick out a few books and check them out. After we leave the library, we go get something to eat then head home.