KPOP Oneshots Vol. 2

Revived memories (Jangjun)

I sat on a tree just behind our house, feet dangling in the air as I heard somebody coming. Curiously I leaned forward to see who it was. It was a small town and the probability of me knowing the person was quite high, yet it wasn't decided if I was in the mood for a possible conversation with the person in question. I squinted my eyes. The guy nearing was familiar, yet unfamiliar. And he was wet all over, carrying an old-fashioned fishing net. I only recognized him as he suddenly let out a cute "Tomato" and picked one from my neighbour's garden. I blinked surprised. "Jangjun?", I asked out loud and jumped down the tree just when he turned around.

He needed a bit to spot me, but as he did, a big smile spread across his face. "No way", he said with sparkling eyes, "Isn't that my little Katy?" I chuckled and nodded while approaching him. As we stood in front of each other, we both inspected the other one for a second before he grinned and went on: "Haven't seen you in too long, come on, let me hug you." "Thanks, I'd rather go without getting drenched", I laughed. Only now he seemed to remember that he was, in fact, wet. As he looked back up at me, I suddenly felt like time got turned all the way back to our childhood. His eyes were filled with mischief and before I realized knowing it, I grasped what was about to come. My feet started running on their own and I laughed out loud after shouting a "Don't you even dare" over my shoulder, knowing very well that it didn't help at all. He easily caught up to me, hugging me from behind. He held me so tightly that I didn't even have a chance of shaking him off. But I didn't mind. It was just like in old times when we bickered, nagged, fought and spent every day together, creating a mess wherever we went. We've gone on the biggest adventures together. As a child in a small little village without many others your age, one couldn't be picky with one's friends in general and somehow I got stuck with Jangjun. And right now, I felt just like the times when I was ten years old and just had stolen a snack from him.

Finally, he weakened his grip and I turned to him with a jokingly scolding look. But as our eyes met, I remembered that all had been long ago and we both had grown in the meantime. And he seemed to realize the same as he suddenly blushed and backed up, awkwardly scratching the nape of his neck. I probably was red too though. "You've grown quite a lot", he broke the sudden silence between us and smiled softly. I shrugged. "It's been some time", I said and then looked at him, "You too by the way."

And he definitely did. Back then, I had been taller than him for a long time. And I sometimes even managed to shake him off. But he grew taller and stronger. He looked way more mature, yet still like the little boy I remembered him to be. I pointed to the fishing net he had dropped before chasing behind me. "Went fishing?", I asked. He nodded. I grinned. "And you probably fell into the water, huh?", I continued, "You always tripped at least once when we were down there." Jangjun laughed. "True that. And you would always laugh at me but then help me up and make sure I am okay. You moved in the river like you belonged there", he added with a soft smile. I grinned. "Sounds like me", I agreed, "Remember when the other kids and you almost started a fight there?" "They were mean to you!", he defended himself. I laughed and nodded: "You always made sure no one would bully me." "And you always made sure I wouldn't get into real trouble", he acknowledged.

We smiled at each other and it didn't need words. I sat down in the grass, patting the space next to me and only a second later, he was beside me. We started talking about all our childhood memories. Our first actual encounter as he had played football and the ball landed in our garden by chance, destroying the stick house I was working on to build a living space for my dolls. I had been mad at him and his parents made him help to build it again. As we were done, the house looked even better than what I had constructed before and forgetting dolls and balls, we suddenly found ourselves trying to make it bigger and better every day. When school started, our parents wanted us to go together. By then we already were good friends and he protected me from the mean kids around while I cooled his temper down whenever he was about to do something really stupid. Together we explored the surroundings, snatched some fruits and vegetables out of gardens or made up fantasy worlds we lived in together. In middle school our ways got separated a bit but we still would spend our free time together, sitting at the river and skip stones or search for comfort whenever we felt misunderstood by our parents. In high school we often sneaked out together at night for parties or sat on the tree in my garden to dream about what our futures would bring. We helped each other with the assignments and thanks to countless sleepless nights managed to get through the finals together.

And that is where our ways parted. While he got accepted at a university in a far away city, I decided to stay nearby as I had to take care of my grandmother. She was old and needed help. My parents had to work all day, so I applied for online studying to be there for my family. I envied Jangjun when he left. He always dreamed of going to the city and make it big while I was fine with how my life would turn out here. I had eventually settled for it. But nonetheless, I was curious, wanted to experience life myself like he did. However, he left and I stayed. We promised to stay in touch and visit each other but for us, too, life was what happened. New friends, new impressions, new tasks and new surroundings for him and a life between studying, caring for grandma and the household at least a bit for me made our contact die slowly. We shortly saw each other two years ago at my grandma's funeral, when he asked me if my life would change now. I had denied it and he had seemed to be sad. He wished me a good life and back then I thought I might just never really see him again.

Yet, here we sat, talking and updating each other on what had happened in the meantime, eventually lying down after the sun set and the stars became visible in the dark night sky. "You know", he said right now, "I missed you often lately. You always knew how to encourage me in a special kind of way and I felt secure around you. I am happy with my life, I really am. But naturally no one can replace the friendship we had. And lately that sentiment got strong enough to make me come back home during holidays. I am almost done with studying; I don't know how to go on from there and maybe I will chicken out. I mean... What if I don't make it? I just felt like I needed to come back here for reassurance. Like, by remembering our talks and dreams and the way you made me believe in myself. Don't know..." I smiled softly and turned my head to look at his side profile. "Jangjun?", I said and waited for him to look at me, "You'll make your way. I know you will. I never really was worried for you. You are too passionate about your dreams to not make it. Just don't let the worry eat you up. You can do it, I know you can. Promise me to not stop believing, okay?" He smiled back at me and then nodded. "I promise", he said before turning back to look at the sky. "Can you promise me something too?", he then asked. "What is it?", I gave back. "Don't waste your life if what you're doing is not what you want to do right now. Stop being so cautious and fearful. Sometimes you gotta take a risk."

•••••••

I bopped my feet up and down nervously. When would the train finally arrive? As they announced the station, I jumped up, grabbed all my luggage and hurried to the door. I couldn't wait to see him again. The doors opened and I stepped outside, looking around restlessly. And then I spotted him. He came towards me with big steps and before I knew it, he basically drowned me in an embrace. And I realized that even though I now really had left my old home, I would be fine. Here, in a big city, with a new but promising job and a new apartment that I could finally call my own. Here, side to side with a good old friend who had been my neighbour back then and who would be now as well.

And who knows? Maybe one day we would even share a home like we both secretly dreamed about up on our tree, down in the grass of the field in front of our houses, at the river while skipping stones and right now while holding on to each other. I couldn't know it back then that he had felt and did feel the same; that we shared the little seedling of emotions inside our stomach when one doesn't realize what it is, but something changes within them when they see a person or think of him or her. The little thing that grows until others around one can see it and then suddenly one does as well.

We didn't know when we grew up together. We didn't know at the train station. We didn't know during our first months of being back together and sharing almost every free moment. But now. Now we know.