13. Loneliness

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Nancy was still acting quiet and off by the time we had gotten home. She was working on homework in her bedroom when I decided to pay her a visit. I knocked on her door. "It's open!" She hollered back. I opened her door to find her sitting at her desk. "What's up, Y/N?" She asked when seeing that it was me.

I remained in the doorway when I asked. "Are you okay?"

She put down what she was working on. "Why wouldn't I be okay?" She asked while turning to me. 

I stepped in and sat on her bed. "I've noticed that you seem really quiet and down lately. Just wanted to check in."

Nancy turned back to her desk and picked up her pencil. "I'm fine." She asserted. 

"You sure?" I doubted.

Nancy huffed. "Everything is fine. You're not my keeper, Y/N. If I want your help I'll let you know."

I was taken aback by Nancy's words. I was expecting this conversation to go like it did with Mike. Being verbally attacked for caring about my sister was not in my plans. Without saying anything, I stood up and walked out of her room, closing her door loudly behind me.

I returned to my room and closed my own door just as loudly. My dad yelled up some comment about not slamming doors, but I didn't care. It didn't make sense to me why Nancy snapped at me the way she did. We've always had a good relationship and in the past we have helped each other through things. Whatever she is dealing with must be a touchy subject and I can't help but think that it was something to do with her not seeing Jonathan over Spring Break.

I couldn't stop a feeling of being shut out wash over me. Mike had admitted to me that he and El broke up, but refused to talk about any more details, and Nancy just refused to talk to me about her problems at all. Maybe the three of us aren't as close as I remember us being, or maybe we just aren't little kids anymore. Either way, I'm not enjoying it. 

I was sitting on my bed overthinking the situation when I started crying. It was hitting me that my already small world of close relationships was getting smaller. Eddie was right, isolating yourself from others can protect you from their scrutiny, but it ends up being extremely lonely. Not wanting to feel the consuming loneliness, I called Eddie.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Hey, uh, it's Y/N." I said while holding back tears.

He must have heard it in my voice. "You okay?" He asked with concern.

"Not really." I admitted.

"Do you want me to come over?" He asked.

I wanted Eddie's comfort, but didn't want to be in the house. I wanted to get away. "Actually, can you pick me up?" I requested. 

"Sure, I'll be right over." And with that, he hung up the phone.

I returned the phone to the receiver and went downstairs to find my mom. "Hey mom, I'm gonna go out for a bit."

She looked shocked. I didn't blame her, I don't think I had ever once said those words to her. "Y/N, it's a school night."

"I'll be home by nine, don't worry." I assured.

"Where are you going?" She inquired, still trying to process what I was doing.

"Not sure, but Eddie is coming to pick me up. I just need to get out of here and clear my head for a bit." I explained. 

She hesitated before agreeing to let me go. "Okay, but be safe and call me if you need me."

"Will do, mom. Thanks." I replied and made my way outside.

When Eddie arrived at my house, I was sitting on the curb. "Where to, M'lady?" He asked when I got into the passenger seat. I gave him a weak smile and suggested that we go back to his place. He let out a sigh. "I guess it is only fair." He joked, referencing our conversation from the day prior. 

Eddie put the van into drive and pulled into the street. "So what's going on?" He asked me with concern in his voice.

I took in a calming breath before responding. "I just haven't really been getting along with my siblings and I guess I was feeling lonely... I'm sorry if I'm bothering you with my problems."

Eddie gave me a warm smile. "Hey, don't apologize." He placed his hand on my leg. "I'm glad you called." We sat in comfortable silence for the rest of the drive to his trailer. When we arrived, he helped me out of the van and opened the front door for me leading me inside. 

Walking into Eddie's trailer, I saw why he may have been embarrassed to have me over

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Walking into Eddie's trailer, I saw why he may have been embarrassed to have me over. It was a dim and messy space that smelled of cigarettes. Although it was very different from what I was used to, I didn't mind. I was just grateful that he came to my rescue when I needed him. 

It was just Eddie and myself in the trailer from what I could see. "Is your uncle home?" I asked as we took off our shoes to get settled in the space.

"Nah, he works nights at the plant. It's pretty typical for me to be home alone in the evening." He replied nonchalantly. 

The thought of Eddie being home alone all the time saddened me. "Don't you get lonely?" I asked.

He gave me a smirk and nodded his head briefly. "I guess that's something you and I have in common." 

The two of us gazed at each other for some time. I felt so much comfort from looking into Eddie's deep brown eyes. We soon found ourselves in an embrace, dissolving the loneliness that we both held inside. In that moment, my stress and worries from the day were soothed and I was so thankful that Eddie had entered my life. 





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