Forgotten Promise- Marauders Era Fic

7: A crush

RYLAND EVEREST WAS TREKKING THROUGH THE HOGWARTS HALLS WITH LILY, on their way to the library to meet Remus. He had grown closer to the Gryffindors and now was being involved in more things. His feelings for Remus grew more prominent and stronger. However, he couldn't help but notice the secrets Remus held from him.

Remus Lupin and the rest of the Marauders were hiding something from him. What could it be? Well, he wasn't sure but he wanted to uncover it. He knew he should butt out, to not be nosey, but how could he? He felt inferior compared to them. Eager to show that he could be trusted with the secret, so he wouldn't have to feel left out anymore.

It wasn't hard to notice the way the Marauders' conversations would hush when Ryland entered the room. The silence was buzzy and thick. Uncomfortable and pesky. They would usually make some horrid attempts at changing the subject, trying to make him feel as though he could fit in. But he didn't. The Marauders weren't bad secret keepers, they were AWFUL SECRET KEEPERS.

As Lily and Ryland walked through the corridors he couldn't help but glance at the windows. The windows were frozen over, snow covering the outside of the school. Tomorrow would be the day that the students were sent home for the holidays. Ryland didn't want to go home, he didn't want to be belittled by his family. He didn't want them to talk bad about his friends. He had learned to bite his tongue during those moments but that didn't make it any more bearable. He couldn't go back, but he had nowhere else to go. His mates were all heading home for the holidays, and at least, he'd have Dylan by his side. Despite that, he knew he would be coming back in a sour or gloomy mood. He'd request to stay with the Bones family for the holidays, but Edgar was worried he'd make an advance on his little sister. Amos was also out of the question because their house didn't have much space. Ryland was stuck.

Why was he thinking of his situation at home when he was on his way to go see a beautiful boy? A beautiful boy? His thoughts challenged him. He had found himself in this situation numerous times over the past few weeks, whenever Remus would invade his thoughts. I shouldn't be thinking of him this way, he's just a friend but was he? could they ever become something more? Ryland knew Remus only thought of him as a friend but sometimes he'd let his hopes rise. Whenever Remus's eyes would linger on him a little too long, or when Remus would find random reasons to touch him. Was Ryland crazy to fall so deeply for the scarred boy? Yes. Just date a pureblood like your parents want you to. He didn't want that though. Well, he didn't care for the blood status of whoever he'd marry in the future. Marry? When did marriage come into the picture? Ryland groaned, knowing this was devouring him alive. His own thoughts had been chewing him out, maybe if he got it out in the open he'd feel better about it.

"Lil"

"Ry" She responded in her thick Scottish accent, giving him her attention. Her eyes showed nothing but kindness and warmth. 

His tongue tucked between his teeth as he was wondering if he could tell her. Nerves kicking around in his stomach, Ryland was going through a crisis. Trying to outrun his own thoughts and not drown in them. He knew he couldn't talk to Edgar or Dylan about this. He was terrified of how they would react, and what they would say. He fidgeted with his hands, as he wondered what Lily would say. Would she tell him he was crazy? Maybe tell him that Remus already liked someone else. But could he say it out loud in the first place? That would practically be confirming it. That would make things true. The words were getting lost and trapped in his throat. By the time he looked up at Lily again, all of his intentions washed away. Although Ryland had been stalling, Lily was still paying attention to him, patient and just as kind as ever.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't feel okay with telling me" She sent him a comforting smile, Ryland nodding as a way to say that he knows.

"Sorry Lily, let's go meet Remus" He dismissed the subject, grabbing Lily's hand gently to lead her to the library.

SO NOW HERE THEY WERE, sitting in the library together. Ryland Everest must have been a masochist because this was pure torture. He had been struggling to retain Remus from plaguing his thoughts, so what did he do? Schedule a bloody "hang out" with him! Sure Lily had been there, but that didn't keep Ryland from making the occasion incredibly awkward. Ryland Everest had been clumsy and ditzy the whole time as he kept dropping stuff or accidentally smacking his knee on the bottom of the table. Ryland knew a bruise was going to form but that was the slightest of his worries at the moment. It was evident that the Hufflepuff had been anxious, Remus Lupin had detected that the moment the boy stepped into the room. There had been a silence between the three of them; before Lily Evans cleared her throat, attaining the boys' attention. The two boys' eyes flickered toward her at the same time.

"What is going on with you two?" She whispered, attempting to not get reprimanded by Mrs. Pince.

"Nothing" they had both said at the same time, glancing at each other as they answered. Soft dark brown eyes met his nonchalant cobnut eyes. Ryland's tongue darted out to lick his lips while giving Remus a once-over. Fuck. Did he really just do that while Remus was looking? Remus's breath caught in his throat as Ryland gave him that look. All of his thoughts disappeared from his head, as his body temperature rose. Ryland couldn't tell if it was his imagination or if the Gryffindor was actually blushing. He was so used to his advances going unnoticed and now here Lily was. Putting him in the spotlight. He was just confused, that was it. It had to be, there was no other excuse for his amorous thoughts about his friend. Ryland quickly looked away, giving his attention back to the ginger sitting beside him.

"What are you on about?" He asked feigning innocence, acting like he had no clue of what she was talking about. But being honest, he knew it was one-sided. Truly nothing going on between the two. The only time something was going on between them was in the scenarios he'd make in his head at night when he couldn't sleep.

"You're just very... erm restless" Lily voiced, motioning to the boy's bouncing knee. She sighed while closing the book that she had been reading. Narrowing her eyes at both of the boys before suddenly standing up.

"Where are you going?" Remus questioned as the girl pushed her chair back into place.

"Providing you two some alone time" She said as she departed. The blonde groaned as he let his head hit the desk. Wishing at that very moment he could disappear. There were no signs of movement for a bit before he felt Remus come closer. He was terrified of what their conversation would sound like. Terrified for the next words to come out of Remus's mouth.

His heart fluttered, as he felt a hand on his. He almost jolts his hand back in surprise, but he keeps it there. Allowing himself to indulge at the moment. Just this one time. What could be the harm? He gets freaked out and never wants to talk to you again. His doubts were settling in but he knew he had to face his fears. Well, maybe at least first try to look him in the eye.

He slowly lifted his head off the table, letting his eyes trail up to meet Remus' eyes. "Hey," Remus said trying not to startle the skittish boy.

"Hey" the Hufflepuff mumbled back; his mouth suddenly feeling very dry. This was the first time Ryland noticed the small dent above Remus's eyebrow, the first time he was able to smell the hint of burnt sugar and coffee. Remus's eyes had darted down to his lips and Ryland felt heavy under the stare.

The nerves got to him and he pulled his hand away.

"I gotta go," He spoke ending the moment between them. It would be completely absurd to let something happen between them. Remus should be with someone like Sirius, who he felt comfortable telling his secrets. Who he actually trusted. Similarly, Ryland couldn't like Remus. He had to keep his family lineage, he needed to be with a pureblood. He was only 14 anyways, he had no real idea of what love even was.