Keyframe

everything i wanted

"If I knew it all then, would I do it again?

Would I do it again?"

- "everything i wanted," Billie Eilish (2019)

Jordan

"Asher, what the hell is this?"

I put my hands behind my back, eyes narrowing at the box he's unpacking before flicking over to him. I guess he can sense my disapproval, because he comes to my side and gives a half-chuckle when he realizes what I'm talking about.

"...A lamp."

"Is that what we're calling it?" I grumble, unimpressed, and he just scoffs in response.

The "lamp" is actually just a standing lightsaber—I may be oblivious to his interests most of the time, but even I know that. What I don't know, however, is why anyone with an iota of taste would want it polluting their living space. Then again, even if Ash and I share half of our DNA, he's never been one for classic Dawson elegance.

"Okay, so you know that scene in The Empire Strikes Back where—" He pauses, touching his tongue to his molars when my expression is all the answer he needs. "Of course you don't. But if you did, you'd appreciate it more."

"This is not going up in my apartment."

I tip my head at him in finality, starting to walk away before he chimes in to correct me.

"Our apartment."

"My name is on the lease." A smile tugs at my lips even though my back is facing him. "Unless you want me to give them your account information for the rent?"

A small beat of silence falls, and my grin only grows when I can hear the annoyance in his response.

"Fine. I'll keep it in my room."

"Glad we can agree on that."

I continue my walk to the sliding glass door, shoulders lowering as I watch the sky turn peach. I've been supervising (and occasionally assisting with) Asher's move into my apartment, but I'm sure Alex and the Bennetts are halfway through their dinner by now. It's not exactly an event I wanted to miss, especially when the Bennetts will be heading home immediately afterward. I'd have to make a trip to Pismo Beach to see Lily before her birthday, and I don't have that kind of room in my schedule when I already plan on sneaking Ash home with me for the week. But, honestly, it's probably better that I sat this one out.

Lily is giving Alex plenty of issues without me there to further complicate things.

I crack the terrace door, letting in a gust of fresh air and the familiar symphony of wind chimes. Lily's flowers seem to greet me as I do so, waving hello in the balmy summer breeze, and I can't help but glance back at my phone on the coffee table.

I've been struggling to not call or text her all week—since her little episode on Monday raised a still-screaming alarm in the back of my head. That was the first red flag, an indication that her honeymoon paradise with Alex is starting to crack under the weight of her disability and his secrets.

Ash is the medium through which I've kept an eye on her disposition all week, filling me in on the vacant coldness that's overwhelmed her recently. How she's spent most of the week locked inside of her room...and Alex outside of it.

My first instinct was to confront her and uncover the root of the issue—until it became apparent that this is an Alex problem more than anything else. Of course that's wonderful news for me, but, if he heard me talking to Lily when she's been pushing him away all week, there's no telling what kind of drivel that would cause.