Whispers Of Chaos

| 5. 𝑺𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑷𝒔𝒚𝒄𝒉𝒐

She's poison but tasty
Yeah, people say, "Run, don't walk away"
'Cause she's sweet but a psycho
~ Sweet but Psycho, Ava Max

Chapter 5. Sweet but Psycho

"Sire, the stone has reached the mine," a guard bowed, not daring to look up or even breathe loudly. A single droplet of sweat traced a path down his forehead. as he waited for a reply.

The crackling of firewood echoed through the room. The guard trembled when an ominous chuckle waved through the room.

"Haha," he threw back his head and laughed and laughed. The guard trembled in his shoes. He wanted to dash out of the room when he saw a muse glinting in his boss's eyes—it made his skin crawl, and goosebumps raked all over him.

"Oh my," the man wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes. He had such a good laugh in months. How amusing.

An intriguing show was going to start!

"Let's see if the stone can get polished into a diamond."

---

The lingering effects of flashbacks are grueling and confusing. Your inner world is in disarray. You have no idea who you are. You've lost track of time, feeling disoriented—the past and present merge. It floods your system with adrenaline and cortisol while indoctrinating feelings of shame and guilt.

Have you ever dealt with demons all on your own? Yes, that secret inner devils-crying, mourning, screeching in the dark emptiness of a vacant house, burrowing your head in your knees, curling up in bed, howling until you fall asleep?

Selena awoke suddenly, gasping for air. Her entire body was still quaking. It marred her skin with goosebumps, and her hand quivered as she clutched her heart to slow her heartbeat. She was petrified.

"You are my perfect doll."

"Shoot. Or you get sent back to the cave."

She had to reassure herself yet again that she should not be afraid. Fear does not prevent death; instead, it ends life.

"Shoot 1079."

As she hugged her knees, she could not help but cry again. Tears flowed as if her accumulated ocean of brine was finally draining like the soul could bleed through the eyes like a sea. That was the enormity of her sobbing.

"Shush, close your eyes; everything will be good. I will make you feel good, my sweet doll."

A cry from the heart and soul extends across the foundations of who you are, searching for a solid foundation built on love and nurture. Then, as we heal, that instinct, that sense of needing wholeness, guides us away from what hurts and towards what heals. Pain is attempting to learn how to recover, so listening to what it has to say is crucial.

Selena couldn't stop remembering her childhood. How she never had one.

Damaged was the skin, but the damage to the brain takes much longer to heal. Those who have lost compassion, understanding, happy memories, and a positive sense of self need rewiring.

She couldn't help but pity herself.

It is an indefensible self-mutilation of the soul; Selena despised it but couldn't help but admit it.

"My sweet doll is such a perfect killing machine."

Tune in to the quietness of the night and feel the starlight that illuminates such a velvet sky during this bout of insomnia. There is an entire world beyond this chamber of worry, and with that awareness, she can find her stillness, a reason to put these worries in perspective, to adapt and overcome them.