After All This Time (Steddie)

Ch.2: Coming out.

Tw; drug use, bisexual panic

~🖤K

I wake up to sunlight directly on my face. Ugh, it feels like I was hit by a goddamn bus. I must have been so tensed up when I had that nightmare last night. My shoulders ache.

I feel an arm wrapped around my back holding me to their shoulder. I take a breath in. Am I laying on Eddie? I feel a bit of panic take over and I pull back quickly. "Shit I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?" I shake my head still trying to gauge what was happening. I was cuddling with Eddie. What the fuck. "No, no. It's alright. You uh.. you laid on me and wouldn't move. So I gave in and got comfortable and must have dozed back off." He stretches and rubs the sleep from his eyes. "I'm sorry I don't.. I don't know why I did that." He lets out a low laugh. "Dude it's fine. Don't get your panties in a twist. You had a rough night. Needing comfort is a basic human instinct. Plus I'm adorable how could you not cuddle with meee?" There's the comedic relief. What an ass. The confidence of this guy I swear...

I roll my head and neck a few times to see if I can stretch the tightness. It pops a couple of times which feels nice but I'm still sore. I yawn and stretch my arms. "What time is it?" Eddie looks over at an alarm clock on the dresser. "A little after 10. What time do you have work?" I don't want to go to work today. I feel like shit. My body hurts and I feel like I'm on the brink of tears just considering walking into that stupid store. "Fuck work. I'll call out. I can't go in that place today. It's sucking my soul away."

"Not that I'm complaining but. You sure?" I nod. I can afford to take an extra day off this week. Plus it's Tuesday. It's not like anything ever happens on a Tuesday. "It should be fine. I'll call Keith and tell him I'm dying or something. It's not like he'll care." I shrug and go make the phone call. Freedom for a day. Thank god. I come back to the bedroom and Eddie is completely sprawled out on the bed hair splayed out on the pillows. "Comfortable?" I laugh, trying not to stare. But it's relatively useless. I have this feeling in my gut when I look at him. What's going on with me lately? Why do I have an urge to cuddle back up with him and sleep the day away? "If you keep staring at me your eyes are gonna burn a hole in me, Harrington" he smirks.

I shake my head and try to regain my thoughts. Play it cool Steve. "Oh sorry I zoned out there for a sec..." he rolls to his side and props his head up on the palm of his hand. "Zoned out on me? Cmon I know I'm good looking and all but shit." He laughs again. I feel my face flush but I try to make a quick recovery "Oh my god shut it, Munson" did he see me blush? I really fucking hope not.

"So. What do we wanna do today? I've got a drop I gotta make later on but other than that I'm all yours"   That damn smile again. What is that? I shake my head. Is he flirting with me or fucking with me? Why is it even effecting me? Jesus Steve get ahold of yourself of course he's just fucking with you. Why would he actually flirt?

Although I've never seen him have a girlfriend. I've seen him hangout with a few at parties but from what I've gathered he doesn't seem all that interested in a whole lot of anyone. Eddie isn't the type for flings. Which isn't a bad thing. But I just wonder if he's had any thoughts like I have recently? Noticed himself looking at other men? I'm not gay I don't think. I love girls. But maybe, maybe I think that in some way I find myself glancing at other guys the same way. Attracted to their hardened jawlines and rougher features. The 5 o'clock shadow and the smell of cologne. I dunno. Maybe.

After Nancy there were a lot of one nights. Moments in time where I tried to regain my previous title as a lady killer. But it's always so empty. It's been at least a year since I've even tried to go on a date with anyone. Robin says I'm going through some sort of catharsis. Healing myself from being an asshole for all those years. She might be right.