Genshin Impact React (Book 1)

Death Battle ( Hercules vs Sun Wukong)

Kenny: Alright who is getting ready for another round of Death Battle.

All: Yeah.

Al Haimtam: what is that?

Kenny: A world where they analyze combatants and battle to the death to see who comes out on top, and I'm pretty sure you all seen it except Sumeru.

Childe: Yup it was awesome.

Kenny this time it's a battle of East and West.

Wiz: Hercules the God of Strength

Boomstick: Sun Wukong, the Monkey King.

Xiao: the monkey king really??

Kenny: Now don't look down on them Xiao they are very powerful.

Wiz: Myth has many heroes, but few overcome their past to become... legendary.

Boomstick: And maybe inspire some comics and anime to boot.

We cut to Wiz and Boomstick.

Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win... a Death Battle.

Hercules

Boomstick: He's the man, the myth, the legend, he's Hercules!

Wiz: Stories of Hercules exist in many iterations, but we'll examine the earliest known accounts: the Legend of Heracles.

Boomstick: No Disney Zero to Hero, just the classic Greek myth, and like most Ancient Greek stories, it began with Zeus bein' a total creep.

Wiz: The God of Thunder did his... thing, with a princess by disguising himself as her husband-

Ganyu: Wait this God cheated on his wife.

Kenny: technically he did this many times I can say he has no dignity.

Boomstick: (muffled) Aw, what the hell, man...

Wiz: And thus a demigod was born, who was named Alcaeus.

Boomstick: But Hera was pretty pissed Zeus had cheated on her, yet again, so Alcaeus' human parents renamed him in her honor. Yup, Heracles means "glory to Hera". Too bad she had already made up her mind though and that kid was gonna pay.

Wiz: The child would need some way to survive Hera's wrath, so the Goddess of Heroes carried out a plan that was... frankly insane. Athena tricked Hera into nursing the baby Heracles, and her milk gave him supernatural strength unbound, even beyond many of the gods themselves.

Boomstick: So strong that he hurt her and caused her to spray milk all over the place like a boob sprinkler, which in turn created the galaxy. Yup, that's why we call it the Milky Way. Oh god, I'm never eating those candy bars again.

Venti: Ewww

Wiz: With his godlike power, Heracles became a fierce warrior, trained by the finest instructors in all of Greece. Unfortunately, he wasn't without problems. While he was a natural at boxing, wrestling, fencing, and so much more, he struggled in... the arts.

Boomstick: He even had a fit and accidentally killed his music teacher.

Thoma: He accidentally what!?

Wiz: Little did Heracles know, this was a sign of the tragedy to come. Many years later, as his name began to be synonymous with the term "hero", he murdered his wife, Princess Megara, and their sons.