♡ Life and Death ♡

9: Fire, fire.

After we jogged for a little while, I was convinced we managed to get far enough from those two objects, the ones that had.. killed Bow.. so many thoughts were running through my head! The majority of them I.. had no idea what the answer was. I was still processing the fact we.. were stuck in this stupid world, and now I had to process even MORE confusing things!

I feel terrible about Bow- I.. I don't know if i managed to do enough, if I could've done more. Was that even Bow? She was a robot and.. last time I checked she wasn't a ROBOT. Maybe that wasn't even her..? I could convince myself that instead, at least that wouldn't make me feel as guilty over the fact I had just.. watched her die right in front of me.

I held my arms as I walked, Nickel beside me. He hadn't said a word and..it made me wonder if he just didn't know what to say or wasn't saying it. I feel so angry at him, he frustrates me so MUCH. How could he just stand there and NOT help? Maybe Bow would still be alive if he just.. pitched in a LITTLE. I hate this place, and I want to go back home.. J just want to see Suitcase again, I'm really worried about home.

I can't believe we're stuck in this world.. and I definitely can't believe I'm stuck with HIM. It doesn't feel good.. and I don't even know if we can get home, or if home is even safe ... not only that, but there's probably TONS of those weird object things still hanging around the forest! We're safe for now.. but I wonder how long that is exactly. I-I can be killed so easily, but yet I'M the one putting myself in danger, not NICKEL.

It made me wonder what happened here.. was there anyone normal? I didn't know.. I wish I did know, maybe then I could stop being so stressed about everything.. I'm so scared for the future..

It made me feel frustated..ughhh, I don't really wanna take out my anger on Nickel, I'm not LIKE that. But, maybe he deserves it? I mean, he DID just allow me and..."Bow" to get attacked. I turn my gaze towards him.. he doesn't seem to be speaking up any time soon.

"Hey." I hissed, attempting to grab his attention. He didn't look at me, but he replied anyways.."What." He muttered, having the audacity to not show me his face.

I need to know his intentions.. did he do it on purpose? I know he's bad but is he that bad? I don't know what to believe  .. I mean surely he wouldn't just.. let me die? He must care somewhat because he's still here but.. what if he's just hanging around to benefit himself?

"Why didn't you help back there?" I ask as calmly as I could, but I was finding it hard to and came off harsher than I intended. "You just.. left me and Bow to deal with it!" I cry, letting my emotions spill.

Nickel seemed to contemplate his answers.. why does he need to even do that? To lie? I was unimpressed, him still not looking at me. "Well, I couldn't, duh! I was injured, did you not see??" He shot back a pathetic excuse, rather defensively. I would rather him tell the truth about being a jerk rather than LYING to me.

"I- You literally- you're fine now! So what was stopping you then?!" I snap, frustrated. Ughh, that guy gets on my nerves so badly, its so difficult to NOT snap at him. He kicked a branch out the way, scoffing.

"Didn't you just hear me?? What, do you think I'm lying??" He sarcastically laughed.

"Uh, yeah, I do, actually!" I yell back, "Look at me in the eye and tell me you were too injured to help, and THATS why Bow died."

"Gh- th..that wasn't even Bow!!" He defended, trying to change the subject and avoid looking at me. I grit my teeth, stopping in my place. "That's not the POINT, Nickel! I needed your help and you just.. didn't bother!"

I exhale silently, trying to calm myself as I watch him glare at the ground and not give a response, stopping too. I just don't understand! I know it's harder for him because he doesn't have arms, but it's like he's hiding something.. and I need to know what; thanks to him one of our friends died.. and I almost did too. I don't know if I'm overreacting...because she'll be recovered eventually, right? It's just irritating he isn't taking it seriously..