Putting this here so I can call myself not dead 👇
I vaporized their children <3
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The day was as normal as it could be, the sun shining and birds chirping. Engines revving loudly in the ears of passerbys, with the harmonic loud sound barely passing as music being blasted from a car's distant speakers.
And the lucky duo in the lane right beside it had the pleasure to drive by it. It didn't seem like that much of a deal; people drove with their windows open all the time, sharing to the public their unpleasant taste in songs; but it was the fact that the stop light decided to immediately turn red is what ticked Poland off.
Another slight mention being an active protest patrolling the streets. They seemed to be leaking outside of the bar, blocking the streets with their bodies. So, not only did Poland have to listen to a bass boosted diss track, he had to sit through repeated shrieks of protest as police sirens played.
And he blamed Germany for it.
Germany sat in the corner of the car, curled up into an uncomfortable position forming a ball. He was huddled by the speakers, a terrible idea to say the least, as Poland proceeded to crank up the car's volume by thirty with terrible hip hop music from America's sixteenth century.
"Wow! I'm amazed. The humans put on a great show." Poland clapped his hands together, "This is even better than the circus. Can I turn back now?"
"Ich habe keine Zeit dafür." (I don't have time for this.) Germany scoffed in a whisper. He hummed a light tune, covering his head with both hands, trying to disassociate from the situation. This is okay. It's just some yelling. It's music being played very loud. That's all it is.
Germany's head began to go mind numbingly blank, like a sound being stretched so long it heightened into a loud pitched squeak in his brain. He banged his head against the car door slightly, filling his senses with a sharp thwack to remind his body he was still there.
In the car. Stuck with Poland.
The fair didn't seem very worth it now.
"Uspokój się -- are you trying to get brain damage?" (Calm down --) Poland groaned, slapping the car's joystick around like an arcade game.
Germany's head hit the side of the car hard as it lurched backwards. "Poland's doing the best he can..." He gritted his teeth, reassuring himself as he watched his vision begin to fade.
"I'm not." Poland gave him a thumbs up. Then he launched the car forward, probably stepping on the gas pedal to shake Germany up again, for his amusement.
He smirked silently to himself in the rearview mirror. He expected Germany to sit up again but he stayed slumped over in his seat, shaking before going still.
"Oh." He made an o sound, in genuine disbelief like he hadn't thrashed him around in the car with the seventeen sharp turns he had made to get there. "You're not dead right? I don't know where to dispose of dead bodies."
CRASH
"O KURWAAAA-"
A car full rammed into the bumper, slamming Poland against the driver's airbag.
"TY KURWO!" Poland screeched at the top of his lungs, rolling down his window at the driver. "TO BYŁO NOWE AUTO DO CHOLERY JASNEJ!!" (This is new!) He pointed at his car, flipping the person off with his free hand.
"Bitte töte mich, bitte töte mich, bitte töte mich." (Please kill me,) Germany repeated to himself. Poland then paused, turning to the back seat with a deadbeat stare.
"Holy shit. Shut up, go back to sleep." He spoke with absolutely no tone in a very Polish accent. He turned in his seat, facing his window again to stare at the driver and make them pay for his whole trunk that had been inverted but there was no one there.
"I'm going to commit a felony." He said calmly, turning to Germany. He was clawing at his arms now, wedged in-between the impacted seats and regular driver's seat in front of him. They stared back at each other in silence, with the same glassy-eyed stare.
There was finally silence, peace and tranquility, so Poland ruined it again by shifting the joystick forward.
They never actually got to the fair or whatever, Poland actually drove in a circle on purpose because he kept forgetting to turn left on the exit.
The end.
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Yeah, there's no way this passes as gerpol but I'm tired give me a break
I wanted to tackle the one below it but I just stared at it and cried internally as I gave up trying to fix every problematic issue it had
