The wild beasts have lost their minds

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Hans

Nine people stood on the roof of Sherry's house. I'm not sure if that was a wise idea. The roof might collapse while the wilder beasts rip us to shreds.

I peered over the roof's edge as Dante and his old man growled at us. "Hey! Furry love butts!"

Dante and his old man stopped growling and cocked their heads.

"I have a treat for you!"

Andrew stood on his hind legs and growled.

"Yeah, you, too."

I dug a baggie from my pocket and pulled out gummy worms. I tossed one to each furry love butt. They caught them in their mouths and chewed.

Sherry walked toward me and stood next to me. "What are you doing?" 

"I'm helping our woodland friends chillax."

We watched as the four creatures shook their heads and swayed until they fell over.

"Are they dead?" Gus asked.

"Nah, they're chillin," I said.

"We need to lure them away," Dan mentioned.

"Do you have catnip?" I asked.

"Yeah, Goldie grows it near the sanctuary. Why?" Steve asked.

"I've got an idea." I smiled and wiggled my brows.

Sherry and her brothers glanced at each other.

******
Sherry's brothers lowered me from the rooftop. I dropped to the ground. They helped Sherry next. When her sneakers hit the ground, we snuck away from the passed-out furry love butts.

Sherry led me around the sanctuary to the catnip.

"Whoa. You're growing your dispensary," I mentioned.

"Humans can consume catnip."

"No, but animals can, making them zone out."

"How do you know that?"

I pulled a magic stick from my pocket and held it up. "Mother Nature's gift to the human species. The beneficial effects outweigh manufactured substances. Plus, it makes you feel good."

"Will you put that away?"

"Party pooper." I put my magic stick away.

We gathered as much catnip as possible, then returned to the sleeping beasts. I laughed.

"Why are you laughing?"

"If you combine Sleeping Beauty with Beauty and the Beast, you get Sleeping Beast."

Sherry gave me a weird look. Hey, I thought it was funny. This chick needs to lighten up.

We placed the catnip around each beast so that when they woke up, they had a relaxing treat.

"How high are you?" Sherry asked me.

"Not high enough to get eaten by a wolf. Do I look plump to you?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" 

"Everything. I prefer to eat pork, not become one."

"What?"

"Pigs produce pork. Too bad everyone sends them to the market to get slaughtered. But you get excellent bacon."

"That's disturbing."

I shrugged. "Do you have a hoe?"

"Why a hoe?"

"I figure if I work with a hoe, I can smoke a magic stick. Then it won't be so boring."

Sherry White and her seven crazy brothers Where stories live. Discover now