Sherry White and her seven crazy brothers

Retro meets modern

Hans

After meeting Sherry's woodland creature and oversized dwarfs, I strolled to town and stopped in a retro store. I needed some new duds.

As I searched through the racks, The Bee Gees played on the speaker. Now that's my jam, man.

I grabbed some silk shirts, tie-dyed, and flare jeans and strutted to the counter. I piled my clothes on the counter.

"Yo, Hans. What's happening, my brother?" Leroy asked.

"I needed some new duds. I see you're keeping it real with the afro, Leroy." I pointed, clicked my tongue, and winked.

"You know it."

"Alright." I bobbed my head and grinned.

"What are you up to?"

"Keeping the peace and communing with nature."

"Is Diego still got the good stuff?"

"Hell, yeah, man. Diego is the shit. It would help if you dropped by the store. I'll hook you up with the premium stuff."

"You got it, brother." Leroy bagged my items and gave me a fist bump and a jive handshake.

I grabbed my bags, strutted out of the store, and winked at chicks. Of course, they swooned because everyone loved me.

I returned home and covered my eyes. "Yo, Gretel, you decent? I don't want Dante to whip his dick at me!"

"You're an idiot," Greta said.

I parted my fingers and peeked between them to find Greta standing with her arms crossed and tapping her foot. I lowered my hand. "Just checking. What's with the sourpuss? I thought your mood would be happier after getting laid."

"Sherry called me. Did you get Cosmo high?"

I set my bags on a chair. "The little dude seemed tense, so I helped him out."

"Hans! You can't give an animal magical herb!" Greta put out her hands to me.

"Why not? Animals eat plants. Mother Nature makes the magical herb. So, I'm helping Mother Nature out."

Greta put her hand on her forehead and rubbed it. "Most people lace the magical herb."

"Not Diego. He only uses the natural stuff."

Greta glared at me as I shrugged.

The front door opened as Dante and Andrew entered.

"Why is there a Mexican stand-off in the living room?" Dante asked, grabbing a beer from the fridge.

"My idiot brother gave Sherry's raccoon magical herb," Greta told him.

Dante spits out his drink as he and Andrew laugh.

"It's not funny!" Greta stomped her foot.

"That's hilarious." Andrew laughed.

"Ugh!"

"Chillax, Gertie. I didn't hurt the little dude. He smiled," I said.

"Stop calling me that, Hank!"

"Stop calling me Hank!"

Dante and Andrew roared with laughter.

Greta and I called each other by names that we hated when we got mad. I called her Gertie. She called me Hank. Do I look like a Hank?

"Okay, settle down, Esmeralda," Dante sniggered. "I'm sure Hans didn't mean any harm."

"By the way, did you know Sherry lives with oversized dwarfs?" I asked.