my friends are funny lol

#8

CW// there's like some talking of really weird ships in this because of statehouse fanfiction. You've been warned.
________________________________________
Message's

Tommy: Joe has a theory that Doc is an alien who just materialises in places

Sam Nook: What

Tommy: Also does anyone but Sam Nook remember becoming friends with ollie

Tommy: because I dont

Doc: DONT QUESTION ME

Tommy: So doc isn't human

Tommy: Good to know

Doc: No I am definitely of the human species

Tommy: That's what an alien would say

Tommy: Doc's either an alien, a god or a ghost

Doc: Well I am definitely not of the human species

Doc: You decide which one
______

Doc: Here me out

Doc: I’m going to be a fairy gay mother and throw glitter at people

Doc: What if by the smallest chance it’s true that we could make a nuke large enough to destroy this whole planet

Tommy: I mean those exist

Doc: Shouldn’t of said that

Tommy: I'm not even worried anymore

Doc: You should be
_____

Doc: You cant kill me I have a life warranty that expires when I’m 25 that’s when I shall die
_____

Jack: I just saw someone fuck an Xbox and then a toaster

Jack: dont click twitter links

Tommy: where would the penis go?
_____
(Context for the next few: Ben Brainard)

Jack: florida is for old rascit white men

Tommy: In the words of Florida "that's all you really get taught down here. Disney, pop culture and alligator avasive techniques"

Jack: i’m very surprised the amerian government hasn’t banned him yet

Tommy: I assume they think it's funny
_____

Messages

Tommy: Florida is in an "open relationship with the truth"

Tommy: Austin is California's only friend

Tommy: maryland likes men(?)

Ranboo: I’m gonna delete ur wattpad account

Tommy: THAT WASNT EVEN FROM WATTPAD

Tommy: THATS BEN'S CANNON

Ranboo: ur youtube then

Ranboo: this is so painful

Tommy: I don't need an account to watch yt

Ranboo: tru

Ranboo: still

Ranboo: so painful

Ranboo: to you ship my country

Tommy: I completely blame Ben, he made the NASCAR theory sketch

Tommy: Also the mother nature "hit me baby one more time"

Tommy: And the Alaska joins the table sketches

Tommy: And the Texas joins the tabel sketch

Tommy: And literally all the "woooooooooooooow" moments between loui and florida

Tommy: And the LGBTQ+ join the table
_____

Tommy: I've read a one-shot where Loui is a woman and loui and Florida have sex and loui gets pregnant

Tommy: I've read a one-shot where Florida has a sex dream about loui, then wakes up and they actually have sex

Tommy: I've read a one-shot where Texas accidently goes to a gay bar and becomes a regular

Jack: stop

Jack: a lot of Texans are gonna be mad with you
______

Tommy: Oh also CDCxMississipi

Tommy: Literally just because CDC calls him 'Sippi

Jack: stop
_____

Tommy: die! Die! Die! Die!

Bdubs: you won't be laughing when it happens to you

Tommy: I'm a nice person
_____

Boo: where's Katherine?

Tommy: I don't know

Bdubs: ask Pearl

Tommy: Pearl where's Katherine

Pearl: I don't know
____

Katherine: did I hear someone was eating sand

Boo and Tommy: yeah me

Bdubs: those 2

Boo: he dipped his tongue in
_____
(See if you can get all the references)

Scott: save me Prince charming

Bdubs: cindegayla

Scott: snow White and the 7 gays

Bdubs: sleeping gay

Scott: gay and the beast

Bdubs: gaypunzel

Scott: mogaya

Bdubs: mugay

Scott: Gilmor gays

Bdubs: mean gays

Scott: gay education

Bdubs: endgay

Scott: gaymilton

Bdubs: how I met your gay

Scott: brooklyn gay gay

Bdubs: gayriends

Scott: be more gay

Bdubs: gay it on

Scott: love, gay

Bdubs: Gayhouse academy

Tommy: legally gay

Boo:...

Boo: that went on for too long
_____

Doc: If you fall asleep near an ant colony in the wild they will eat you alive and feast on your flesh

Doc: If you leave a dead body submerged underwater for a long amount of time without air exposure their body fat will turn into a soap

Jack: shut up

Doc: No

Doc: It’s useful
_____

Doc: If I die when I die I’m gonna eat a potato
_____

Tommy: what is Pheobe's taste in men?

Bdubs: Um

Bdubs: humoos