you're it for me

Chapter 15

When Yeji wakes up the next day, she has difficulty opening her eyes. 

The sun is shining directly into them, effectively making her turn hoping to catch at least another few moments of sleep after the fitful tossing and turning she dealt with the previous night but to no avail. 

She sits up and checks her phone. There's a couple of texts from her group chat with Yuna and Jisu, but what really catches her eye is the message that Ryujin left her from last night, Yeji not having the strength to reply to her. 

Yeji opts to turn off her phone and takes slow sluggish steps towards her bathroom, it's there when she sees the effects of crying herself into dehydration. Swollen red eyes, puffy face, mussed hair. Yeji looks at her own appearance with slight disdain on her face. 

She attempts to make herself presentable by splashing cold water on her face, hoping to lessen the puffiness then proceeds to put makeup on to further conceal any traces of what happened last night. 

As she applies her usual shade of lipstick, that phantom feeling of Ryujin's lips pushing against hers comes back in a sudden tide. As if she can still feel the warmth emitting from them just by a slight swipe of her lip. 

Yeji shakes her head, she shouldn't be thinking about that. She shouldn't be thinking about her. 

With a sigh, she does a once over on herself before nodding and exiting the bathroom. 

Ignoring the current situation before her isn't exactly the smartest decision, but she desperately needs an escape. 

Even just for the next few days before facing the inevitable reality. 

---

During the next few days, Yeji doesn't reply to Ryujin. 

She doesn't reply to anyone within those days, really. 

Yuna and Jisu bombard her messages, Yeji only responding with vague short replies. Only enough to let them know she's okay. 

Ryujin texts her too, but Yeji just ignores them completely. 

She's not ready to face Ryujin. Not yet at least. 

Surprisingly Jimin reaches out to her too, Yeji giving just the barest of replies to her as well. 

A week after the incident, a week after ignoring Ryujin and trying to erase the memory of her lips interlocked with her own, she finally messages her. 

yeji: hey, can we meet up?

Ryujin replies instantly. 

ryujin: hi! yes, when are you free? 

---

Yeji's waiting outside of Red Velvet Café, waiting for a certain whisker-dimpled girl to make her appearance. 

The words have been playing on loop in her head for a while now. Hell, some may even say she took inspiration from the first time around. 

Doesn't mean it'll hurt any less though. 

Yeji thinks it might even hurt more than the first time. 

Her thoughts are interrupted when a voice breaks through. 

"Hey!" 

Yeji turns her head and she's immediately met with the sight of Ryujin making a slight jog towards her. She's wearing a genuine smile on her face, contrasting the worry that's practically dripping from her eyes, and maybe even- nervousness? 

"Hi." Yeji replies curtly, "Let's go inside?"

Ryujin nods eagerly, "Yeah, let's." 

They both head inside, Ryujin holding the door open for Yeji to enter. 

And as fate would have it, Yeji and Ryujin are sitting right at the same table they did all those months ago when they saw each other for the first time in years. The very table where everything came crashing down. 

Despite going to the Café to talk, it seems like neither of them are in the mood for any food or beverages. 

"How have you been? You haven't been replying to my messages." Ryujin looks at her with that look in her eye that's Yeji's been seeing more commonly these days. Yeji recognizes it as... Worry? Concern? 

Her heart practically stutters at the tenderness dripping from Ryujin's eyes but she quickly passes it off. Reminding herself of what she came here to do. 

Ryujin doesn't actually feel that way about her. 

Why would she? 

"I'm good. I'm sorry for not replying. I've just been thinking about some things." Yeji trails off her sentence, bracing herself for the next words that'll come out of her mouth. 

Ryujin chuckles, albeit a bit strained, "Don't think too hard-"

"I was thinking..." Yeji cuts her off, her eyes drifting down to her lap, where she plays with her hands nervously. 

Ryujin tilts her head curiously. 

"Maybe we should put an end to this thing between us." 

She doesn't notice the way Ryujin freezes at the sound of her words. 

"... What?" 

Yeji continues to avert her gaze, she has to do this. "This has been going on for long enough, don't you think?" She finishes her sentence with a little chuckle, but even that sounds dead to her own ears. 

Ryujin doesn't say anything. 

So she continues, "Yeonjun hasn't talked to me in months, and your career is thriving. you're about to start your first tour, you'll be away for a while and by then; dispatch will have moved on and found some other idols to put their attention on. Considering all the noise you'll make from you being in other countries, people will forget about us dating anyway." 

Ryujin continues to stay silent. 

Until-

"Is that what you want?"

Yeji chooses then to look up at Ryujin. Only to feel all the warmth drain from her body at the sight of utter sadness in her eyes.

Isn't this a good thing for her?

Nonetheless, Yeji barrels on, looking her square in the eyes. 

"Yes." 

Ryujin doesn't reply, instead opting to avert her gaze somewhere else. 

Yeji's said what she's needed to. 

She packs herself up then stands, heading towards the exit but stopping next to where Ryujin is seated. 

"Thank you for everything, Ryujin. I wish you luck for the rest of your career." 

Ryujin doesn't say anything, still looking elsewhere. 

"Bye Ryujin." 

Then Yeji leaves. Despite the way her heart aches painfully. 

A small part of Yeji was hoping Ryujin would chase after her.

But she doesn't.

One step out of Red Velvet Café becomes 10 then 20 then 30. Before she knew it, she was back at her apartment. She would've started crying but she's ran out of tears to cry. 

At least she got to say goodbye this time. 

There'll always be a special place in Yeji's heart for Shin Ryujin. 

No matter if Ryujin doesn't feel the same. 

---

A/N: im so jealous of anyone who gets/got to see itzy live :(