decision |henclair x male oc|

5.

"i don't know what's wrong with him!" dustin argued.

"nothing wrong with him, per se," mike said. "it's just, we miss just you being around. you're always around trevor."

"and that's a bad thing, why?"

"because, he's not part of our party, weather you like it or not."

"lucas help me out." dustin said.

"no, i'm not getting in the middle of this, but if i had to pick a side, i'm sorry, dustin, but i agree with mike." i said.

dustin huffed in frustration.

"look, i've known you guys since 4th grade and it seems like every time someone here gets into a relationship, you two don't want them in the party. i'm surprised you're letting will stay in the party, or either max or el." they said.

"because they're our friends. we don't know anything about trevor except you two are dating." i reply.

"whatever, fine, i won't bring him just this once." dustin reasoned.

"thank you," both me and mike said at the same time.

dustin rolled their eyes in annoyance and walked away.

after the argument at the front of the school with no one around, the air was thick with anger and jealousy.

trevor doesn't even have to be around for me to feel the absolute jealousy i feel, knowing trevor gets to do things with them that i can't. simply because me and dustin are just friends.

they don't see me that way.

the realisation.

i've been trying to think dustin might not see me as just a friend, but as a possible love interest, but lately i've came to the realisation. the realisation that dustin henderson, my best friend since 4th grade, will never feel the same.

i feel my heart crack, i hear it too. snap. crumbling it up. throwing it away.

apparently mike could see it on my face.

"are you okay?" they ask.

"yeah, dude, i'm fine." i lie.

i've been lying a lot. i know it's bad.

"lucas, you can always tell me when something is wrong, you know that, right?"

"yeah, thanks." i smile. it's a fake one. it's the one you put on right before you break down. when your eyes are watering, tears wanting to slip down your cheeks and onto the floor, or tuck away under your jawline.

i can't cry, though, not in front of my best friend. that's embarrassing.

"i need to go home." i simply say. "i know we said we'll hang out after school, but can we go later tonight? i'm not feeling well. call the party and say that there's a reschedule. maybe 8 tonight?"

"yeah, okay. feel better." mike smiled and i make my way home, trying not to cry as i think about dustin.

***

i slam my bedroom door shut, hearing my mother say "don't be slaming doors!" but i could care less.

it's 10:45pm, i just got home from the worst hangout with the party that i don't want to talk about.

i slide down the wall, quiet sobs escaping my mouth, my body trembling.

the sobs got louder, so did the sniffling.

knock. knock.

erica, my sister, was on the other side of the door. i rub my eyes, look into the mirror. gross. i hate what i'm seeing.

i open the door anyway.

"what?" i say, voice threatening to crack.

"are you okay, nerd?"

i stare at her in confusion.

"yeah? why?"

"i heard you crying." she said, pulling me into a hug. "i might have a cold, dead heart, but you're my sibling and i have to care about you."

i smile slightly at the words.

"thanks, erica." i reply, hugging back.

"why were you crying, though?" she questioned.

"i wasn't crying." i lie.

"yes you were. it's okay to cry. even people who have no souls like me cry sometimes. it's nature. what happened?"

i debated on telling her, then i decided to. i told her everything that's happened from since i fell in love to that happened after school, trying to avoid what happened at the arcade.

"didn't you nerds hang out today? what happened there?" she asked.

great.

though, it took a lot of courage, i told her.

we were playing digdug, one of all of our favorites. it was going amazing. i was happy.

no one really plays at the arcade anymore, we're probably the only reason it's still in business.

"damn max still has the high score!" mike exclaimed which makes everyone laugh.

dustin didn't bring trevor, which is good.

i glanced at their lips a couple times, they didn't notice. when do they ever, though?

"get beat by a girl! losers." she jokes.

trevor walked into the doors in the middle of us laughing.

"hey, babe," trevor said, placing a kiss on dustin's lips.

"hey," they said, returning the kiss.

trevor and dustin pda the rest of the time, i couldn't stand the arm around the shoulder, the little kisses they share, their flirting.

crack. crack. crack.

my heart cracked every time they would show each other affection.

that should be my arm around dustin. that should be me placing kisses on dustins lips. that should be us flirting.

i ran out of the arcade without warning. the party yelling for me to come back.

i run home.

"aw, sad nerd," erica says to try to cheer me up.

"not meaning to be rude, but can you get out? please. i love the help, but i wanna be alone." i reply.

i love my sister, a lot. i love her sarcasm and coldness. but right now i can't handle anything. i'll break at any second and i don't want anyone around when that happens.