August | winrina

Chapter 2 : Ningning

In a way, high school turns out to be a relief for Winter. Yeah, she can feel the social pressure to look presentable at all times, and there's a lot of homework that makes her wish she hadn't chosen some of the harder courses at the start of this year, but there are also a lot of people that aren't Karina.

Not going to school with Karina anymore is actually one of the most freeing things that have ever happened to Winter. Sometimes she can go days without feeling that familiar tugging in her chest, and sometimes she almost forgets how much it hurts. It makes it easier to take her mind off the way her heart still breaks every time she sees Karina from her bedroom window.

She feels free.

Winter hates thinking about Karina like she's a prison, but being in love with her isn't like it used to be. Now, more than ever, she just feels her body ache for everything she can't have, and she's not sure that will ever change. Not unless Karina does, too.

*

She meets Ningning at softball tryouts. They're the only freshmen and everyone else seems to know each other so they don't really have a choice but to stick together. They stretch side by side, talking about how they're enjoying high school so far.

Winter feels a lot lighter talking to Ningning than talking to anyone she already knows. Part of the reason is that Ningning doesn't know Karina, but it's also because she's just a really nice person.

"I was born in Paris," she says in unaccented English. "I lived there until I was 13. That's why I can speak French."

Winter smiles. "My mom spoke Thai with me growing up, so sometimes I forget a word in English but I'll know it in Thai and it's so frustrating."

Ningning's eyes widen. "I'm the same with French. Does that thing happen to you, like when you're angry, and suddenly you're using two languages at the same time and no one takes you seriously because of it?"

"All the time," Winter cries out, a little too loud. She clasps her hand over her mouth to stifle her laugh at the looks people throw them, and when she looks up Ningning is mirroring her. Her eyes are lit up with silly joy and it feels really great.

It's just that even though she made Yeji smile just this morning, Winter can't disassociate her from Karina. It's like Karina is the shadow of something missing every time she and Yeji are hanging out. With Ningning, though, there's nothing there. She's just a new person without painful memories attached to them, and Winter happens to be in desperate need of someone like that.

So she sticks to Ningning's side while they run laps to show their stamina, and while they throw balls to prove they can actually throw a ball without hurting someone. They work together when they're put on the same team for a practice game, and it ends up going so well the coach actually compliments them on their teamwork.

For the first time in a long time Winter throws her arms around someone and doesn't wish it was Karina.

After tryouts, Winter takes a moment to catch her breath and put her hair up to try and cool off, putting her things in her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. Yeji has cheerleading tryouts in a few minutes, and she promised to come watch on the bleachers for moral support.

She spins around to look for Ningning, spotting her a few yards over. She's talking to a girl with long blue hair and a basket of softball gloves under her arm that looks way cooler than Winter and Ningning's combined.

Winter watches them talk for a moment, her phone burning in her hand as a reminder of how little time she has until Yeji's tryouts start. Part of her wants to wait for Ningning to see if she's up for watching Yeji with her, part of her doesn't want to be late. She never really understood the appeal of dancing around in miniskirts, but Yeji seemed to be excited about it, and Yeji's her best friend.