Trusting Jack (River-Cove Series: Book 2 )

Chapter 5// Grace

Grabbing my bag from the taxi and thank the driver, before turning my eyes to Tori's and Derek's place. I promised her that I would try and make it for Fourth of July, and I just couldn't disappoint her. So here I am.... yay me!

Honestly, I'm not going to be that much fun to be around right now. I'm cranky from working so much and not sleeping enough, I'm also still on edge even though the anniversary of the attack has passed, but I still feel like I'm being watched.

I just can't shake it and it's freaking me; I hate feeling weak and vulnerable like this, I spent years feeling this way when I was Xander and I thought once I was free of him, I would feel stronger and braver but all it takes is one reminder and one gut feeling to send you into a spiral of stress and fear once again.

And I didn't want Tori to see me like this because she will know something is wrong and she doesn't know the full story with Xander, she knows I was in a violent marriage and she knows a little about the attack that night, but she doesn't know how I've spent the last few years moving every six months, never staying in one place for to long, other then California.

She doesn't know about the nightmares or fears that one day Xander will get out and come after me.

But when she sees me, she will see and know that something is wrong which is why apart of me knows I should have stayed home.

Another reason I should have stayed home is Jack, I think he's here today too and I thought I was ready to see him again after the wedding, but I was wrong.

At Tori's and Derek's wedding he looked at me like I was the worst person in the world, like he couldn't stand to be in the same space as me and he has every right to feel that way about me after how I left things with him back when Tori was hurt. I just didn't think it would sting so much to have him look at me like that.

"Oh my god! You made it!" I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard a voice yelling happily from somewhere.

Locking my eyes on Tori as she comes running down the front steps of her house and pulls me in for a hug.

"I've missed you, I'm so glad you came" she adds as she pulls back. Giving her a smile.

"I've missed you too. And of course, I came, you sounded like today was important to you, so here I am" I replied.

"Thank you, Grace. So how have you been?" She asks as she links our arms together and we headed into the house.

Hesitating for a moment, collecting my thoughts I made the choice coming here today to not tell Tori how I have been feeling crazy and having paranoia about my psychotic Ex who I think is stalking me from behind bars.

Because the truth is she's building a life here for herself with her husband and daughter, I can't bring my drama here to her, it isn't right too.

"Good. Busy with work, you know how it is" I lied.

"I do, River-Cove hospital is small but it's eventful"

"How is the new job?"

I miss working with my best friend, gossiping at lunchtime but she's where she was always meant to be.

"I love it, the people are nice to work with, easy shifts" Tori's answers.

Reaching the backyard my eyes automatically zoom round the faces here.

"He's not here yet" I heard Tori whispers. Throwing my eyes back to her and shook my head.

"Who's not here" I ask dumbfounded.

"Jack...he's not here yet" she smiled.

"So? I wasn't looking for him" I argued.

"Okay so who was you looking for then?"

"I wasn't looking for anyone, I was looking for the wine table" I shot back.

The truth is I was looking for Jack but I'm not going to tell her that. In Tori's mind she's has our whole love story planned out, she probably inversion me and Jack getting married with 2.5 kids in River-Cove by now.

But that's not happening, that's a nice fairy-tale to dream off one I might even have had myself once or twice, but it's just that a dream......a fairy-tale not real life.

"Lair...I know you like him more then you want to admit" she said.

Shaking my head, biting my lip to stop myself from snapping because I don't want to fight with her.

"Leave it Tori because, we've been through this, several times, I don't want to talk about Jack because it will lend to a fight, and I don't want that-;' I cut off and sighed before carrying on.

"I just want to spend this weekend, catching up with you and hanging out with Daisy. Please I'm begging you too just leave it be" I pleaded with her.

I've made my peace with the fact that Jack and I can never be anything more than two ships passing in the night, it shouldn't have even gotten to the point that it has now.

I was a fool, and I should I have walked away before that night, but I didn't for a moment I let myself need someone and for a second I let my heart rule instead of my head, it was a selfish thing to do because I hurt him in the process.

And I don't need Tori trying to fix this problem every time I come to River-Cove, because it isn't fair to Jack.

"I'm sorry, I just want you to be happ-:" she suddenly cut off what she was saying as her eyes darted towards the back doors.

"He didn't" she whispered, frowning at her as I follow her line of sight, just as my eyes land on Jack standing very close... to a very a beautiful woman who was smiling at him.

And my heart twists in a way I never thought would happen. It twists with jealousy and regret, but I have no right to feel that way, because I told him to move and forget he ever met me I guess now he has....

I just didn't think my heart would hurt so bad when he did.