His princess - Uzui Tengen x Reader +18 (COMPLETED)

Chapter 58

Author's note: Some drama is awaiting you in this chapter. Free ice cream and popcorn for you, choose to your liking: 🍧🍨🍦🍿🍿
Some booze if you won't be able to handle: 🍺🍷🥃🍸🍹

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(y/n)'s POV:

Tengen sat down next to me, resting his left arm on his knee lazily. "What are you doing outside here anyway?" He asked.

I pulled on the blanket, fixing it a bit which he put over my shoulders mere a few seconds ago. It was so soft and warm. It comfortably hugged my body around.

"Stargazing... and thinking..." I told him, tearing my gaze off the sky, staring at the ground instead.

2 days passed since we came here, yet I couldn't come up with a cure for the poisoned villagers. There are not much possibilities left and I'm also running out of ideas. I might be an expert when it comes to herbs, plants, natural medicines and such, but this is quite challenging. Even for me. The promise I made for that kid today in the morning rings in my head. What if I can't keep it? I will feel guilty for the rest of my life if these people die because of my failure.

Besides this pressure, there's the case of my brothers and my father. When this mission ends, I have to apologize to Kyojuro and Senjuro for talking to them like that. They didn't deserve it. It was them who were always there for me. They supported me, protected me, loved me and I paid it back with yelling and ugly words, saying things I didn't mean actually. What if it's too late to regret? What if they wouldn't accept my apology and turn their back on me because of my stupidity? Why did I realize only recently that I became a monster?

Tengen spoke up, breaking the silence. It was not actual silence though. The small animals of the night were awake, filling our surrounings with faint sounds. The crickets' music could be heard everywhere. Tiny dots of lights appeared here and there, fireflies signaling everyone about their arrival. Quite a beautiful sight along with the stars and the moon over the dark blue sky.

"Not bad. I do this often as well. Like in the past..." He trailed off. I exactly knew what he meant.

We used to stargaze a lot together if the weather allowed us to, enjoying each others' company, chatting about everything in general or just staying silent, stealing kisses in the night from time to time. Those days were my favourites.

"I have to apologize to my brothers once this mission ends..." I murmured, placing my chin on my knees whilst hugging my legs. "They are both mad at me..."

"I'm sure they will forgive you." He tried to reassure me. It didn't really help though. When it comes to my siblings, I always overthink.

"I hope so..." I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment.

If I didn't hear those little gemstones' sound which framed Tengen's face from both sides, I wouldn't know that he is looking at me, but that faint sound betrayed him. I was aware that he was watching me.

"What were you doing during the past 4 years?" He asked out of the blue.

I cracked my eyes open and stared at him from the corner of my eyes. I thought he wanted to tease me with something again, however there wasn't even a hint of mischeviousness on his face. He was serious.

"Anger, sadness, pain, starvation, tiredness, exhaustion, worry, fear..." I listed. "These things all describe what I went through... I was angry at you, my father and myself. Sad, again because of you, and because of Kyojuro when I heard the news that he fell into a coma. I was in pain because of you. My heart broke... You broke it... I starved, I was tired and exhausted because of the multiple jobs I took so I could make a living for myself and Senjuro, also paying for Kyojuro's medication in the meantime. I rather didn't eat for days just so Senjuro could have everything. Enough food and a school to go to, clothes and such... I was worried because of both money and Kyojuro. I was afraid every month that I wouldn't have enough cash to pay rent and everything else. And I was dreading, always thinking about what ifs like: what if Kyo will never wake up? What if he would be disabled even if he did? What if I can't help him?" I took a shaky breath, pausing for a moment before continuing. "Do you know what hurt the most?"