Take architecture, they said. Drawing-drawing lang naman ’yan and it’s fun, they saod. Pero ngayon, hindi na talaga ako natutuwa. I had to finish my plates this evening dahil pasahan na niyon bukas. The task was given to us a week ago. Ayos lang naman sana kung hindi nagpagawa ng ibang tasks iyong mga minor subject ko na akala mo major din kung makaasta. Ngayon tuloy, I am cramming my plates and I am just glad that it somehow looked descent. It’s not really nice compared to my past plates, but at least, it’s descent.
I finished at 3AM and my class would start at 8AM. I only had few hours to sleep that’s why when I went to school, I am still sleepy and I nearly slept during our first class. I was glad I was able to stay awake until the class ended.
I had 2 hours vacant so I went to the library. I just randomly picked a book to make it looked like I am here to read, but searched for a better place to sit and take a nap. Pumuwesto ako sa hindi gaanong napupuntahan ng mga estudyante. Binuklat-buklat ko pa ang libro ng ilang minuto saka kinuha ang cell phone ko. Nag-alarm ako upang hindi mapasobra ang tulog saka sinaksak ang earphone nang hindi iyon makalikha ng ingay kapag tumunog. I am not really listening to music. Naka-plug lang talaga iyon for alarm. Then I took a nap.
Hindi pa nakakalahati ang tulog ko nang maalimpungatan ako dahil sa kaluskos na narinig. Ipagsasawalang bahala ko na sana iyon nang mahagip ng aking mga mata ang mabilis na paggalaw ng bulto ng tao sa aking harapan. Hindi normal ang pagkabilis niyon. Blur lang nga ang nakita ko dahil sa mabilis na pagkawala niyon.
Napabalikwas ako at napaayos sa pagkakaupo. Linibot ko ang tingin sa paligid ngunit ako lang naman ang taong naririto.
Am I seeing a ghost again‽
Tila nagkaroon ng karera sa dibdib ko dahil sa kaba. Iniisip ko kung may nagambala ba akong hindi nakikita nitong mga nakaraang araw dahil limang beses nang may nakikita ako: una ay sa labas ng bahay, pangalawa sa rooftop ng college of business building, pangatlo at pang-apat ay sa field, at panglima naman ay rito sa library. Iniisip ko rin kung nakabukas ba ang third eye ko. Either of the two, I am not liking it.
Sino bang gusto makakita ng multo‽ Not me at least.
Nagpakawala ako ng malalim na paghinga upang pakalmahin ang sarili. Pinikit ko pa ang aking mga mata at muling huminga nang malalim. I did it five times then opened my eyes but I was welcomed by a man standing in front of me. His daunting eyes were gazing at me.
Nakapagtatangkang nasa harapan ko na siya ngayon nang ganoon kabilis. Wala namang tao rito nang pumikit ako at sandali lang naman iyon. I did not even hear him walking.
“That is my spot you’re sitting,” he said. His voice was icy cold and he was beaming. I gave him a questioning look and he continued talking. “That is where always sit when I go here in the library.”
Oh. It’s not that he owned the seat though.
“I don’t mind anyway,” dagdag niya pa saka naupo sa aking harapan.
Linapag niya ang makapal na librong hawak ngunit wala roon ang tingin niya kundi sa akin. Tila ba sinusuri niya ang mukha ko kaya nag-iwas ako ng tingin at binuklat ang librong kinuha ko kanina.
I did not think I would be talking to Blaze Vanguardia again. It’s not that I am avoiding him. Wala namang rason para gawin ko iyon at saka nag-o-overthink lang talaga ako no’n. After our conversation that night sa ihawan at iyong pag-add niya sa akin sa Facebook, hindi na nasundan ang pag-uusap namin. We weren’t close though. I just knew his name. I didn’t think he even know me. But I still saw him walking or playing in the field. We just never had an eye contact again because I would look away instantly when I saw him around. It’s just that... his eyes were daunting.
