Against the Universe

11 • maddie

A/N: this is being posted shortly after chapter 10, so make sure you don't skip :)

Btw, Madelyn is pronounced /mædəlɪn/ (ma-duh-lin) and not /mædəlaɪn/ (ma-duh-line)

♪ ♪ ♪

I. Am. Dying.

The human body really is a stupefying wonder. On most days, I can barely feel anything in my legs. But there are times when a horrible stabbing pain flares up in my thighs. Neuropathic pain, the doctors called it. Caused by misinterpreted signals between my brain and my spinal cord. Like the aching pains I get in my arms from wheeling myself around all day aren't enough punishment. The only good thing about this is that I have an infallible excuse to not go and see mum this afternoon.

Putain de merde. I hate my life.

I end up missing school. Caitlynn offers to call off the visit and look after me, but I tell her it's okay. I plan on spending the day in bed, suffering, napping, Minecrafting and eating nothing but Maryland cookies. The kitchen is fit for use now, but the only thing I know how to cook is instant noodles, and I've already drained our supply.

Dusting the crumbs off my lap, I decide to shoot a message to Grover. I haven't seen him since he fainted, and his make-up presentation was today. I was strangely looking forward to it.

hi!!
did you do your presentation? xx
hope ur feeling better btw

Grover:
Yes.
I'm fine thanks.

Ouch. We've never spoken over DM before, so I don't know how to interpret his use of capital letters and full stops. Does he always use perfect punctuation in casual conversation? Is he mad at me? Is he trying to seem distant because he's seeing someone and he's not meant to be messaging other girls? Is it his default keyboard settings?

I'm overthinking this. It's not like he needs me to check on him anyway.

Still, I can't help but be curious. He'd looked so weak that day.

Grover:
Where were you?

truanting ;)
jk i'm bedbound
i have terrible nerve pain :/

Grover:
Do you take anything for it?

not really

I'd tried. I'd gotten a few different prescriptions when I was in the hospital— including anxiety medication, for the panic attacks I started getting. They helped alleviate the pain at first, but now they don't have much effect. I didn't ask for them to give me something else though, since I already felt like enough of a burden.

Grover:
I have some stuff that might help.
If you're not too far I can drop it off?

He does? I think. Wait, of course he does. He probably suffers a lot of pain too. Maybe that's why he fainted.

I'm about to decline because I don't want him going out of his way for me, but then the stabbing flares up again, and I bite my lip so hard it almost bleeds. I end up texting him my address.

Grover:
30 minutes.

you sir are an angel xxx

The nerve pain hit while I was getting ready this morning instead of before, so I at least look somewhat decent for Grover's arrival. I quickly check myself out in the selfie camera. My make-up is okay, although my peach lip gloss has lost some of its shine. My hair is a bit flat from lying down, but I only need to fluff it out a little to restore it to its former glory.