billie & i

.nine.

tw; alcohol abuse, depression

red solo cups littered the tiny sink as the three of us attempted to fix our hair and makeup before the big game. i knew i shouldn't be drinking, but i had already sucked down 3 drinks. how my grandfather would turn in his grave if he knew his nieta grew up to be just like him.

yvelyn was dancing around the small room with a curling iron as a microphone, screaming the lyrics to some rap song i never knew existed. i always found it a little funny that she knew all these songs, yet grew up in private schools and the suburbs full of country music and sweet carolines. desiree and i frequently exchanged glances, trying our best not to get bumped by yvelyn and stay still, being drunk and all.

"oh shit," desiree said quietly. "we have like, fifteen minutes?"

"for what?" yvelyn continued to dance around, jumping in the tub and using the curtains as props.

"until the game starts, bro my hair still isn't done," desiree whined, putting on the last of her eyeshadow and focusing her attention on her prepped hair. she took down the twists that it was in, gently fluffing them out to resemble a slightly less fluffy afro. i finished the last of my makeup, fluffed my braids, and applied some oil to my scalp. massaging it in, i expertly grabbed some edge control and fixed my edges, tying them down with a scarf i designated for hair.

"yve, hey," i called, failing to grab her attention. she was barely ready, her lashes were already falling off, and her hair was a tangled mess, half curled and half coiled. "yve, come on. we really have to hurry, the game starts in, like, twelve minutes."

"hmm? yeah, okay," yvelyn responded, clearly feeling the effects of however many bacardi drinks she had. i was definitely getting an uber.

yvelyn stood up shakily from the tub, gripping my arm and printing her nails into my skin. i winced, struggling to support her, and walked her to desiree's room, where her clothes were laid out.

"thank you, arlo," yvelyn slurred, dragging the sound of my name. i rolled my eyes and went to the bathroom to retrieve my things.

"god, she's so obsessive sometimes, wonder what kind of fucked up mother she had," yvelyn whispered, and i stopped gathering my things.

what did she say?

"well, i mean sometimes but like-" desiree started, but yvelyn cut her off.

"no, i think she had a really fucked up childhood," yvelyn whisper slurred. "like, i don't think her mother loved her, so now she's trying to like, prove herself to other people, you know?"

"you're drunk," desiree giggled. i wanted to believe it was a sarcastic giggle, but i knew it wasn't. looking up into the mirror, standing over the sink, i noticed tears streaming down my face. i dabbed them away with a towel and packed up the rest of my things. fuck them.

"hey guys, i'm going to go," i muttered, putting on my shoes. "my friend is going to pick me up soon for the game, so i'll meet you there."

"wait, how are we gonna get there? we're both too tipsy to drive," desiree questioned, but by the time her words reached my ears i was closing the door behind me.

i slipped into my pantsuit, adding final touches to my jewelry and makeup while i waited for my uber. no way jaedyn would pick me up, and i didn't want to put stress on billie or burden anyone. plus, i was too drunk to drive. i put on my new shoes, subconsciously reminding myself of the past ten minutes. what a way to start a night out.

                                           ---

desireé elbowed me playfully, jumping up and down for our team. the score was 35 to 37, so it could go to either team. i wasnt really feeling it however, today was just not my day. "hey, desireé," i yelled over the roaring crowd. "i'm gonna go walk around." she nodded, half ignoring me, and i walked off the bleachers to the concession stand.