Cael's
Nagising ako dahil sa sinag ng araw na tumatama sa mukha ko. Nakita kong wala akong suot na kahit ano at wala rin si Adel sa tabi ko.
Fuck.. I remembered last night we.. we make love. Shit, dali dali akong tumayo at naligo. Nag bihis ako ng black tshirt at maong pants, wala akong planong pumasok ngayon dahil balak kong pag usapan ang nangyare kagabi.
I know it's normal because we're married but.. i'm not still over with Chiya. I can't love Adel while i'm still not over with my past. It will hurt her emotionally.
Bumaba ako para hanapin sya ng makasalubong ko si manang.
"Manang where's Adel?" i asked
"Ay nandoon kasama ni Atty.Panganiban sa garden. Ijo tanong lang, may problema ba kayo ni Adel? nakita ko sya kagabi umiiyak doon sa may swimming pool area. Sana maayos nyo yan." ani ni manang.
She cried? Why? At bakit nandito si Atty.Panganiban? i know him because forte nya ang mga divorce and annulments.. Oh shit! No this can't be.
"Oh! Mr. Kherrero, come join us." pag aya ni Atty. Panganiban
"Oh! Hi love!" pag pansin ni Adel sa akin ngunit hindi ako sumagot at lumapit na lang sa kanila.
"Anong meron? Are you planning to get a divorce Adel? Hah! Tagal ko ng hinintay 'to," pag papanggap ko pero sa kaloob looban ko ay hindi ako sang ayon doon.
Tiningnan ako ni Atty. Panganiban na tila naka patay ako. I mouthed at him what? anong meron?
He cleared he's throat befora saying some stuff. "Uhm.. This is not about you and Mrs. Kherrero. About divorce, para iyon sa mga magulang nya . . . sabi kasi nila ay ipaalam ko kay Dorothea na may planong ganito ang mga magulang nya . . . I didn't know na gusto mo rin pala maging kliyente ko Mr.Khererro," iniling nya pa ang ulo nya.
Tiningnan ko si Adel at nakitang nakayuko ito, gusto kong bawiin ang sinabi ko dahil akala ko ay makikipaghiwalay sya . . . Damn. I fucked up. Bago pako maka salita ay tumayo na sya
"G-Gusto nyo po ba Atty. ng maiinom? K-Kuha l-lang po ako . . ." her voice broke. Fuck you Cael, you're such a dickhead.
Tumango si Atty. Panganiban at umalis si Adel sa upuan nya kanina, Tiningnan ako ni Atty ng masama.
"Go and apologize, you're such an asshole Cael . . . She's your wife. Kung ayaw mo sa kaniya ay huwag mo namang ipalandakan at ipamukha sa kanya. Tao rin sya, may puso at damdamin." he said, his words slap me hard.
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Naliligo ako at nag isip isip kukuha sana ako ng damit sa labas ng makita ko si Adel sa higaan at nakaharap sa laptop nya.
Napatingin sya sa akin at nginitian ako, how can she smile like nothing happened. I don't deserve her. But i'll try my best. First mag momove forward muna ako.
Nag bihis ako at tumabi sa kanya nakita kong may binabasa sya. "What are you doing?" i asked
"Just checking some stuff about Orphanage. I'll donate some money there, is that okay?" She asked and i just nodded. She's so kind. . .
"Do you like kids? or if you would be a father will you accept the child?" she asked, ako naman ay nakayakap sa bewang nya at nakasubsob sa tagiliran nya at inaamoy sya.
"Uhm. . . I don't know, i don't have a father Adel. Hindi ko alam kung mapapalaki ko yung bata," i answered and she remain quiet.
"I love kids, i want to have a children some day." she said
"Children? So you're implying that you want a dozen of babies?" i teased her.
"You're so annoying, just three to two babies lang!" she said, i just chuckled.
Inalis nya ang laptop at umayos na ng higa, hinalikan nya ang tungki ng ilong ko bago matulog. how i wished i can do that too. I'm too scared to risk.
"I love you Cael. . . I always do." she said, my heart ache. I can't tell her that some sweet stuff.
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Dorothea 's
Nagising ako dahil sa mabigat na nakadag-an sa katawan ko. kamay pala ito ni Cael mahimbing pa rin ang tulog nya kaya ginising ko na ito.
"Cael, wakey wakey lalove. Malalate kana" i woke him up.
"5 minutes babe," he said.
natigilan ako sa tinawag nya sa akin. hindi ito kilig o ano, iyon kasi ang tawagan nila ni chiya. wow, literal na breakfast in bed.
dahan dahan akong tumayo at pumunta sa banyo, naramdaman nyang tumayo ako kaya bumangon na rin sya.
How can i be like my mom? she a martyr too. But she's planning to divorce with my dad because dad always cheating with my mom. hah. how i wish i can do that too.
i heard a knock in our cr, i think it's Cael.
"What?" i asked while inside the bathroom.
"Can i come?" he asked. hindi ko parin nakakalimutan yung sinabi nya kanina. pagkatapos ko mag hilamos ay lumabas na ako at sinalubong ang mga tingin nya.
"I'm done, you can use the bathroom. just go downstairs if you're hungry." saad ko dito lumabas na sa kwarto.
"oh iha, kay aga aga nakasimangot ka. naku! tatanda ka agad nyan!" sabi ni manang ng makababa ako.
"sana nga para mabilis tumanda at mamatay" i whispered.
"ano yon iha?" tanong ni manang
"Ano pong niluto nyo?" tanong ko
"Adobo, halika kumain kana," pag yaya nya.
nauna akong kumain at hindi na hinintay si Cael, pumunta ako sa rooftop namin at nakatingin sa tanawin. Malalim akong bumuntong hininga.
"That's deep," i heard a familiar voice. it's him. nilingon ko sya at tumingin na ulit sa tanawin.
"Hey, are you avoiding me? what did i do?" he asked.
oh wala lang naman u asshole, just go to your moms womb. napairap ako sa iniisip.
"Do we have a problem?" he asked and hug me from the back.
yes we have.
"wala. it's my problem." i said.
"you sound sarcastic" he said
"You have work right? just go,"
"Ouch. pinagtatabuyan mo na ako love? you're hurting my feelings" he said at humawak pa sa dibdib.
you're hurting me too. so much
i know if i say i love you with this man he would not answer back.
"i love you so much, Cael. I always do," i said and i looked in his eyes. he just smiled at me.
"Even if its one sided love, you'll always be a part of me" i saw a guilt i his eyes.
"let's go inside. it's getting cold here haha." pagpapagaan ko ng atmosphere sa pagitan namin.
"I . . . yeah let's go inside," he said
