i'm not a villain, i'm a kid afraid of her father.
corners corner me in this four-walled terror room. the walls scream infidelity and the floor yells in pain from every time i fell to the ground because of your blows. you hum your way to forgetfulness while i lie about my pain. i cry and you sing, it's a beautiful, dangerous thing. we are grace and ruin all wrapped up in one. you think you can keep me afraid and i think you can too. you tear me apart every time you put me back together again. it's our game and when will it ever end? will it ever end? do we have an end? just like every scar you've left, you will linger and you will cut me over and over, enough to make up for every single time i couldn't muster up the courage to slit my wrist. you will hover and i will cower. your power will never meet me in the eye.
i'm not a monster, i'm a kid with an ignorant mother.
cold air fills my lungs as i hold your stare. your eyes dive into mine trying to search for something you recognize, but you skip all the good parts. you only see the screaming and fighting and tantrums. you forget all about the love. you see monsters you never knew existed and you question my existence. and then you ignore it all. i try to scream but you are deaf to my nauseating pleas. it's all in vain because everything remains the same.
the only one who changes is me.
