Heart And Empire

3

I step out of the castle with everyone that walks past me giving me major stink eye. They're all stupid anyways and I can't bring myself to care because this is the first time I've been out since my last mission.

Six months ago.

Damn.

He's kept me locked up for so long my brain was starting to rot. If not for Fara, I'd probably be an antisocial weirdo.

I shrug. At least I'm not antisocial.

A smile finds its way onto my face as I hear the chirp of a bird. I think it's a bluebird.

Not because I can identify birds or anything like that but because I choose to believe it's a bluebird.

Yeah.

Feels nice to have control over something every once in a while even if it's something as simple as believing a bird is something it's not.

What if it really is a bluebird though? That would be cool and very magical of me if I do say so myself.

It's supposed to be a two day journey to the Land of Fawning which is a pretty ominous name now that I have the time to think about it.

And I realized I wanted to walk at least a little of the way before teleporting there. The potion smelled nasty as fuck and it's not every day you get to walking through nature.

I hope the son is easy to kill. I miss Fara already. She's probably binge watching 'Wizards of Fairy World' without me. She's done it before.

I'm about to jump into another fantasy when I hear a snap.

Shit.

I've let myself get carried away and now I'm going to get myself killed before I even make it.

No, no, no.

I won't be killed by some nasty wanderer. If I'm going to be killed let it at least be a hot prince. And if he's not hot at least let it be a prince.

Dear whoever is watching over me right now, let me live and you can come to my wedding with the hot prince.

I sigh. Fine that's a lie. I'm going to kill him and you probably know that but still. If you let me live I'll...
I'll...

Damn it. I'll think of something when I don't die.

I find myself in a tree which is something I wasn't conscious I was doing but glad I did nonetheless. Now I can see a wide area extremely easily and it seems that it's...

Oh God.

It's...

A fucking deer.

Irritation floods through my body at this point.

Really Irabel?

Deer?

You leave home for a couple of hours and you're already losing your mind. Doesn't speak well of you.

For scaring me, I'm going to catch you and I'm going to eat you.

I climb down from the tree as quietly as I can, steadying my breath and assessing the area to map out the route that would be the most noiseless.

It's a straight path to the creature and my heart aches for it. It's just in the open. It thinks it's safe and I'm about to kill it. For my own selfish reasons.

I pout. It doesn't deserve this and I turn around to leave when I hear something leap out from the surrounding trees straight at the deer.

Is that a fucking tiger?

It grabs onto the deers neck and forces it to the ground before pulling out a huge chunk and chewing aggressively on the piece.

There's so much blood it looks like an effect. The deer is still moving and the tiger's chewing and I'm still staring because this is gruesome even for me.

Absolutely no mercy and just an all around startling sight.

Just then, I glance at the tiger to see it looking straight at me.

Shit. You don't want to eat me right? Focus on your big juicy deer buddy. Don't even mind me. I'll just be on my way.

I start to back away slowly still maintaining eye contact with it when it takes another big bite.

I see the muscles separating, hear the bones cracking and see the blood stain the purely orange fur.

Calm down. I'm not stealing your raw deer. If you could spare a piece though... I'm starving.

I hear my stomach rumble and glance at my long forgotten meal.

A big ass bag and no one could add a sandwich or something? That's sad.

I should just go there but then I'd have to work and put effort into killing someone and that just seems like an enormous energy drainer.

I hate this job. Why can't I just be the one that counts the money or something like that? Actually scratch that, I hate math.

I groan, sliding down a tree and closing my eyes. I can still hear Tiggy eating. Yes I named it Tiggy. Fight me.

As long as I still hear him eating then I'm safe because he's focused on something other than me.

Just then a bunch of grapes drops from above and it's like a blessing. The light bounces perfectly off the round mounds hitting my eyes at such perfect angles that the full magnificence of the grapes is captured.

Sweet God. Thank you.

I turn quickly to the side and grab them, my eyes rolling back at the thought of some sweet juice in my mouth. This is my hero arc.

Whoever sent this obviously wants me to take back all my sins and I gladly will after this.

I open my eyes to drink in the sight of the berries but notice they have black spots in them.

No fucking way.

I run my hands over my face, violently chucking the berries back into the bushes.

They're poisonous.

My day is ruined and my villain arc is back and stronger than ever. I kick the tree and another bunch of the same fucking berries fall.

Very fucking funny.

I gasp. I can't hear chewing anymore. This is proving a lot more stressful than anticipated.

I open the bag.

Fuck it.

The potion goes down my throat in one swig.