Collateral Damage

19

Though Audrey knew her feelings for Alexander were less than ambiguous she couldn't find in herself to admit it. Not aloud, not even a whisper in the back of her mind. But as she looked over his sleeping gave, her fingers shook, an inch from his face. He looked so innocent this way, face even and peaceful, those long lashes resting on his cheeks, his inky locks against the white sheets.

Her shaking fingers finally graced his face, feeling the rough stubble on his cheek, she smiled, laying next to him, matching her breathing with hers. Alexander had warned her he couldn't love, and Audrey had elected to believe him. She couldn't afford a broken heart after all. Alexander gently stirred, grabbing her wrist. Audrey's eyes widened, a string of curses running in the back of her mind.

He grinned, the crinkle in the corner of his eyes appearing, making her look away. Her heart was beating so hard she almost thought she was having a heart attack.

She couldn't count on him. She was a passing whim, a fleeting figure in his life.

"Hey," he smiled softly—no smart quip.
"Hey," she said back simply, staring at the wall.

Alexander looked at the side of her face longingly, pulling her wrist, and forcing her into his chest. She stared down at him and glanced away.

"Why are you awake?" He asked, tucking a loc behind her ear.

"I hate you," she whispered.

He grinned, his hand falling from her ear to her cheek. "No, you don't."

Audrey looked away, swallowing the words on the tip of her tongue. He frowned, leaning in, soft greys eyes focused on her face. He was barely coherent and yet, he pushed closer, rubbing her cheek.

"I wish I did," she sighed. "Wouldn't it make life easier for us both Steel?"

He let out a shuddering breath, halfway between a dream and this moment with her, not that he could tell much of a difference.

"I love you, you know," he whispered, his eyes closing for more than a second. He fought off the urge to fall off to sleep, his brain in that sleep filled his gaze, loosening his tongue. "As much as I can love anyone, anyway."

Her eyes widened. She worried the edge of her shirt.
"You told me not to believe you if you told me that. I think I'll take your word for it."

Audrey sighed, as he fell silent, finally succumbing to sleep. She couldn't get her hopes up. Audrey was firm in her position, she knew Alexander Remington would never be a safe, viable choice for her.

Why had he said those words to her? She sighed, flipping back on the bed next to him. The scent of his expensive body wash flooded her nose. She inched her hand over to him, touching his soft skin ever so gently. He was at peace once more, his face even as if he hadn't rocked her world.

"Why did you say that to me?" She whispered.

"Because I love you, Audrey," he glanced over at her with a smile. She looked over at him and shook her head.

"Don't say that, go back to sleep." She spat, turning over.

She glanced back, realizing he'd been asleep the whole time. She scoffed, curling into a ball. She was loosing her mind, wasn't she? Absolutely fucking losing it, pining after a man she literally called Steel. It would only end in heartbreak for her. Audrey stood, slipping out of the bed, pulling the sheet with her, covering her bare body. Quietly, she dressed and looked in the mirror. She couldn't risk it could she?

It was better to disappear. He probably wouldn't come after her for the debt. It was better this way, for both of them.

She pulled her panties up, putting on her pants and her shirt. Audrey examined her face in the mirror for a moment, before smiling and grabbing her shoes as quietly as she could. It was time to take her leave of Alexander Remington.

She closed the door behind her quietly. Alexander stirred but did not wake, turning over, and muttering nonsense to himself.

Audrey stepped out into the night inhaling softly. Fall was on its way. It was regrettable, but it was for the best. She was tired of waiting for something that would never happen. Alexander was a king of lies, after all. But the ones that mattered the most were the ones he told himself. They were insurmountable, especially for her. She was tired of this game, this pining. a chill breezed by, closing her hands around her jacket, making her hunch into her small jacket.

This was it. It was time to live. Let him go.

He wouldn't mind, would he?