Sweet Aviodences

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Meredith POV-
Trigger Warning! ⚠️

I woke up and felt some weight on my waist. I turned around to see arizona holding me in her arms. I feel so content with that thought and arizona was still asleep. I feel angry at myself though, she found out I cut myself. I feel so horrible. I could tell she was upset and maybe angry at me. I feel like I should say something but she asleep so I should let her sleep. right?

I reached for my phone on the nightstand and scrolled through tiktok.

~Time Passes~

I've been scrolling through tiktok for about two hours. That app... too addicting. soon enough I heard a beeping sound. I felt arizona start to wake up. In the moment my first reaction was to fake sleep. So i did. i turned my phone off and cuddled back into her and hopefully she doesn't realize.

I felt her reach for her pager and silence it. she came back to me and cuddled herself to make her comfy again. she kissed the top of my head.

"Did you watch good tiktoks?" she asked and I was shocked. how did she know? "I know your not asleep baby." she replied laughing a bit. I turned around still in her arms and looked up at her. "Ummm was good kinda. How did you know i wasn't asleep?" i asked her and she smiled.

"About a couple minutes ago, before my pager went off, I started to wake up and heard you laughing then I heard a tiktok sound so I put two and two together." she said smiling. "oh." I said i didn't know what else to say. "How are you feeling? do you want to eat?" she asked. I was a bit hungry but i didn't want to eat. if i eat i would get fat. i don't want that.

"Ummm i'm okay but I do want to say sorry." I replied "for what?" she said as her face went serious. "you know for earlier?" i replied. "baby, don't be sorry, it already happened. am i upset it happened? yeah. but we can't change it now. But whenever you do feel like that again please just tell me and I will more than likely help you." she replied whilst giving me a kiss on my forehead. i simply nodded my head. we laid there in silence for a bit.

"so what was the page about?" I asked her. "Um I'm not sure if i'm going to take the page I'll probably keep silencing it." she replied. I was so confused. why would she not? she's a doctor.  "Why not?" I asked. she was hesitant to answer. "Derek was paging me." she said. what the hell, why would he page her?  yep i'm screwed. "oh okay" I said. all emotions from me were shut down. I don't want to remember him or see him, but we can't always get what we want. right? we sat in silence for a couple minutes.

"Well you should answer the page." i said. she looked at me confused. "I- no, why" she stuttered. "We'll your a doctor so you should just answer your page. If anything i'll stay in here or go with you and hide somewhere." I explained. she thought about it. "Well i mean i should. Are you sure you'll be okay if we go?" she asked. "yeah i'll hang in the tunnels or with cristina." i replied. she took a deep breath.

"Hmph okay. but i want you with cristina or bailey or someone at all times." she said whilst moving to get up. "yeah?" she turned back and nodded her head. we both got up, put some shoes on, and walked out the door. we had gotten in the car and arizona drove. it was a comfortable silence the whole way.

——

A/N: hey everyone ik ik im sorry. ik this chapter isn't what it should be or isn't what this book is abt but i'm struggling rn. i sometimes disappear (if u haven't noticed) when things (mental health) things happen. i'm very sorry for everything guys. i hope u understand. I love you guys very much!! <33 XX
~Nat

Word count: 704

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